Ten Up

Still unemployed over here in snowy Kentucky. Gradually I seem to need to lower my standards more and more until I'll end up working at Starbucks again or something. Thankfully, both my parents and my in-laws donated grocery store gift cards to us, so I've been able to stick to my diet.

I've been keeping pretty detailed track of my calories every day for the past five weeks. Since I have a pretty simple diet, it's been easy to keep track of what I eat. I'm so glad that most fast food places keep their nutritional info online, but sometimes I just have to guess (I'm looking at you, every Chinese restaurant ever).

Still, things are actually progressing well with my weight. This morning I weighed about 245, which is a gain of about ten pounds since starting this plan. I can really feel this weight, too; it's much more noticeable and tangible. When I do finally get back to 250, it'll be interesting to see the difference between that weight and the first time I weighed that much.

I'm dying to feel it again. I'm already so attracted to this weight, I want more. And so does my boyfriend, now. Slowly he's turning into a real encourager.

The Curse of 240

My body loves being 240 pounds. It loves it so much that it doesn't want to let go. So much so that it seems to be ignoring the basic rules for weight gain. That being, a 240lb body burns ~2500 calories a day, and anything beyond that is stored. 3500 stored calories then amount to a pound.

This 'rule' is what I've been basing my new diet on. I aim to eat 4000 calories a day. It's actually been a very easy target to achieve, given the resources. Under no circumstance am I ever to eat less than 2500 calories a day. Even if I'm sick and vomiting. Even if there's no food in the house. This way I should never see a decline in my weight, and theoretically gain about three pounds a week.

Then again, it's rarely worked for me like that in actuality. There've been times in the past where I've gained a lot faster than I should have and of course there have been times where I've eaten 10-pounds-worth of calories and not seen a change at all.

Since starting this diet two weeks ago I have almost gained the six pounds I should have, but on the other hand, I'm really tired of seeing 240. I've hit this milestone probably a dozen times--the first time being nearly two years ago! I would have been ecstatic to see 241. Or even 240.1. But my new scale proudly announced two-hundred and forty.

I never want to see that number again. Ever.

I'm going to go eat.