Burned

I was hoping to have some pictures for this week, but in going to the amusement and water park this past week, I got myself a nasty sunburn that makes me look silly. It's starting to peel already though, which is a good thing.

It was nice to take a little vacation like that. Going to the water park was an interesting thing, as well. It was the first time I had been shirtless in public in quite some time--probably the last time was about 40 pounds ago. I was a little self-conscious at first, but my boyfriend certainly liked it. Also, it helped that it was an Ohio water park, so there were plenty of other hefty guys walking about to make me look normal.

I'm not sure why I felt so self conscious. It's been happening off and on lately. I think it's because I haven't been going to the gym lately. My love handles are getting wider than my back, and that's a good sign I'm letting my fat get ahead of my muscle. Unfortunately, I'm running out of time at my university's gym, I'm going to have to start looking for another gym in town. Considering I don't have a job, it'll be hard to pay for one.

I'll get a picture post up next week after I'm done shedding my sunburn. Is there anything you guys would like to see?

Making Up for Lost Pounds

Unlike most people I know, when I get stressed out I actually eat less. I get too focused on whatever I'm working on( say, studying for finals) and I simply forget to eat. So, instead of gaining in my last weeks of college, I ended up losing about fifteen pounds on accident. Although I don't think you could notice if you looked at me. I do honestly feel the same size--if not bigger.

Nevertheless, my first priority is to regain that weight. I'm going to try to find things that I love to snack on and keep a good stock of those things. So far it has helped as I've at least gained five of those pounds back. This is perhaps aided by how sedentary I've been lately.

After graduation, I got a new computer for a graduation present, so most of my time has been spent in front of my shiny new monitor. It doesn't help that both of us here have been sick for a while, though. I've been neglecting the gym and other hobbies, but I feel I deserve a little break from my responsibilities.

I've got no job and no school to worry about, so I'm going to make this summer a summer of weight gain!

College

Boy, college was certainly good to me. I can't believe it's already been four years. So much has changed since I started but it feels now like it was only yesterday.

When I was feeling all nostalgic, I remembered the pictures my parents had taken of me when they moved me into my first dorm room. Sifting through all my old emails from my mother (and believe me, there are a LOT of them) I managed to find them. I couldn't believe how different I looked--almost like a completely different person. Back in those pictures, I was so nervous about everything, and very self-conscious. When I see them I can feel all that emotion again.

Still, it's amazing to see how far I've come. Two years of working out boosted my self-confidence and another two years of gaining made me actually proud of my body. You can see it in my progress pictures. As the pounds came on, the more I smiled, the more I looked at the camera... So, as a little tribute I attempted to recreate those poses in my apartment to compare. I would have tried to wear the same clothes, but I remember donating them last year. At any rate, there'd be no way to even fit those red shorts on anyway.

I encourage anyone out there who is gaining or thinking of gaining to take as many pictures as possible. Even if you hate how you look in pictures like I did back then, you'll be glad you have them one day. As for me, who knows where I will be in another four years? Better get started, then!