Boy, I missed writing on here. Thank you to everyone who asked how I was doing and sent their regards. I apologize profusely for sort of disappearing so suddenly (as bloggers tend to do), but so much happened that gaining was so far back in my head that I couldn't even bother thinking about it.
Shortly after that last post, my childhood cat Joey (who made a cameo in that last photo) stopped eating. He was fifteen years old and seemed to be on his way downhill. I had to take him to the vet, find out the grim news that there was nothing they could do and put him down. Watching him being put to sleep was by far the hardest thing I had to do in my life. He had been my best friend since I was seven years old.
I was extremely depressed for a while after that. No appetite, no motivation--nothing. Coupled with that, I was desperately searching for a job with no results. Things finally started getting better though, and these days I'm doing alright again. I managed to land myself an unpaid internship, and my parents offered to help me out until it leads to something with income.
I have thought about gaining again. I haven't been able to mention gaining on Twitter, as my sister and subsequently my mother found me on there, so I have to keep that mum over there. But, I do really want to continue, I just cannot at the moment. Since I've graduated, I no longer have gym access and because the job is unpaid I have no money for food. I'm sorry I haven't posted, but all I would talked about was what I wish I could do and complain, and I know no one is really interesting in hearing that.
Things are getting better though. I'm still hovering around what appears to be my new base weight of 240. I'll be back before too long.
Recovering
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Hang in there man! Life can suck a lot sometimes. It's so hard to lose someone as close as a pet. They're as much a part of your family as anyone else. I know. We're all here supporting you, through whatever life throws at you.
ReplyDelete:-)
Very sorry to hear that your almost lifetime companion had to leave you. Did you consider getting a new, young pet? But pets are a big responsibility, "family" always is.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you got a foot-hold in your profession. From my point of view being an artist is, and always has been, a difficult existence. On the other hand there is a lot of satisfaction in being able to express oneself.
I had to smile about what you had to say about your "sideline avocation" no longer being mentionable on "twitter" because of your family. It was good to hear that you are able to maintain 240, it would be so sad to see you shrivel down to a bean pole!
I believe you are wrong, if you think that your fans don't want to hear "what you wish you could do and/or what turns you off or upsets". Those things make a man an individual and are the reasons for blogs.
Of course we also like to hear about your gaining and the body you take pride in.
With very best wishes, Norbert.
Its just good to see you back, when things get hard its not easy getting yourself out of a black hole of bad feelings and mild depression, but you seemed to have made through. We all hope the best for you and hope you start getting that weight back up :D
ReplyDeleteBest wishes Jack
Good luck and keep us posted, just because we're nosy that way. Seriously when you share a certain aspect of yourself online, it's easy for the rest of us to forget the reality on the other side of the screen. Hang in there, dude.
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep my fingers crossed for your good luck in finding a great job and keep your health. I hope you and your boyfriend have a wonderful weekend!
ReplyDeletethis is gonna sound terrible, but maybe now you can use your cat's allowance on yourself.....
ReplyDeleteIf I could, I would hug you but being in another country is just out of my league. All I can do is giving you online hugs.
ReplyDeleteAs for your mother and sister finding you on Twitter, make a "second" Twitter account just for your weight-gaining entries and hope for the best.
Hi there Git,
ReplyDeleteLike most of your viewers, i am so sorry to hear about your pet. it is very hard to say goodbye to them, i know i have been there too.
As for the job, the only advice i can give you is to do the best you can with the internship, and hope it lands you a spot on the team. i work in the fashion industry in NYC, and people do take note of a good intern. They are the ones that breathe new life into the office.
i agree with 'Norbert', we love to hear about your happenings, that is why we subscirbe. However, i'm not nosey....i'm concerned! ha ha!
Big Hugs
Cowpoke
I dealt with the same thing this spring. Fluffy stopped eating, and after extensive testing and surgery, had to be put down. She was never brought out of the anesthetic.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to cry and to be upset. Don't listen to anyone that says "just a cat". I ended a relationship because he didn't understand why I was upset over "just a cat". We both lost a part of our family, and the stone on her grave has my last name on it.
*hugs* You will get through it. You won't forget, but it will get better.
Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I just went through the same thing, losing my wonderful feline companion of 16 years. I've never been the same since then, but I take it one day at a time. To know unconditional love like that is the most beautiful thing....the warmth they bring to our lives. Hang in there :)
ReplyDeleteI heard about your cat over Twitter. I'm so sorry about that, you know? Losing a pet's hard, especially one that you grew up with.
ReplyDeleteAt least he's not in pain anymore, I hope.
Good luck on everything, though! Like Anon on Sunday said, keep at it and hopefully something will open up - and if not, you have the experience.
I'm also with Espilonarge - the beauty of the Internet is that you can be whoever you want, and if shit happens, just make a new name. Glad to hear that you haven't lost too much, though - but I wouldn't have held it against you if you did (hey, shit happens).
My heart just broke when I read about you losing your little buddy!!! That is so hard. I remember losing the dog I'd loved from the age of 3-years. She was all I could ever remember about that age.
ReplyDeleteJust know you're loved and those of us who understand can feel your hurt and loss. I'm certainly not looking forward to the day my current pet, a cat, takes her leave. :(
Three and one-half years ago, on the day before Christmas, I had to have my companion cat, Rudi, of 17 years put down. Then I lost my house and moved to a little apartment in a city where I didn't know anybody. I still had my other cat, my sweet little Penny, now 15. Three weeks later she too had to be put down. I really hit rock bottom. I felt like I had lost everything.
ReplyDeleteBut time moves on. I now have an adorable affectionate black cat named Osito who is lying on my lap purring right now.
Hang in there. There is always daylight after the storm.
StudBust from BeefyFrat