This morning I officially weighed myself for the first time in months. The scale read 218 pounds. A weight I hadn't seen since late 2007 when I hit 220 for the first time.
The strange thing was, though, that I didn't feel like I had lost over thirty(!) pounds. I still had a little gut to play with, my legs were still flabby and I still had my favorite paunch. The only thing I knew was wrong was that my clothes were all too loose. It wasn't until I started looking through my old pictures that I started to notice. Even though I like my body as it is now, I am enamored with how I looked at 250. What I have now is nothing compared to what I loved about my 250lb body.
What's more, putting pictures of me now versus me at my highest weight side-by-side really helped me see just how more weight looks on me. It also helped me picture myself at weights I have yet to achieve, and I'm mesmerized with the thought of new, unrealized weights and I'm dying to get my weight back--I need more!
Months of watching videos of my favorite gainers, drawing impossibly fat men and lusting over gaining weight again have really helped with my kickstart. I've started counting my calories again, started shopping for more food (despite the higher cost of groceries here--bah!), and I'm recruiting my boyfriend for more help. And everyone's words of encouragement have been massive motivation! Thank you all.
Let the regain begin!
Damage Report
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Rootin' for ya! Take back 250 and keep goin'!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
ReplyDeleteTo 250, and beyond!
ReplyDeleteHappy that you are back, I understand why you left though. I recently slimmed down from a massive gain because I freaked out. I want to get back to where I was and even bigger but I would rather fit into my clothes than blimp up. I admire your courage and look forward to seeing your progress, one way of another :0)
ReplyDeleteGit, you look gorgeous at any weight :)
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to believe there's an obesity epidemic when it's so hard to put on weight!!!
Gotta say, I'm a fan of your drawings, but I can't seem to find them anymore :( Do you still have them online these days?
Keep up the good stuff, it's great to see you blogging again!
great to see you back on here - you were missed!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see you growing again! Go for it.
ReplyDeleteLOVE your blog! Can't wait for more.
ReplyDeletemore photos....
ReplyDeletecannot see ur pics in Flickr
I'm glad your back. I've missed you on Blogspot!
ReplyDeleteSounds kinda like me, but on a larger scale. I started at 160 and got up to 215. The 50+ pounds looked great! Over this year and 2010, I have unfortunately lost 20 lbs and am now weighing-in a little under the 200 mark at 195. Looking back at pics of me at 215 and other gainers gives me inspiration to achieve even greater weights - like 250, 275, and even 300.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck on your journey. Don't get discouraged about the loses - its like the stock market, it will always go in an upward trend even if there are some set backs along the way.