I wanted to save my next post for when I had a picture drawn, but I'm in one serious art funk right now. There are tons of ideas floating in my head right now, and as soon as I get my groove back, you can be sure there will be big updates here.
I try to put at least one piece of media into these posts, because I know they're more encouraging to read that way. At least to me, being a very visual person. Unfortunately, I got nothin' for this one. Classes have started up again, and as such I've been really busy. Not too busy to eat and work out, though.
I've definately grown in the past couple weeks. At one point, the scale said 215, but I was stuffed and clothed. But I can tell I've grown--other than by these annoying stretch marks. Walking to and between classes has gotten harder. I run out of breath quicker than I used to. Fortunately, I'm not gasping for air after going up stairs, but I'm definately not in the shape I was 20 pounds ago.
Also, my thighs rub together when I walk now. I've been forced to re-don my boxer-briefs to keep from getting a rash down there. My face, as well as thighs and love handles look most noticeably fatter. I also notice it's a lot easier to do things I've had difficulty doing in the past, such as eating a large pizza or a can of biscuits.
One thing I think I enjoy most about these posts is knowing I'll be able to look back at them in a few years and see how far I've come. These sorts of things seem little now, but being able to document all the little things I notice is so much fun for me. I'll have more for you all next time, promise!
Busy Busy
Stretch Marks
Ever since I started gaining, I tried to prevent stretch marks. I read in several places that they can be permanent, and I didn't want to develop them. Every night before bed, I put lotion on my belly and sides and so far I've prevented them.
But, I didn't count on the rest of me growing so fast. Both the tops of my thighs and the sides of my butt are developing marks, as well as some smaller places such as the outsides of my shoulders from working out, and I'm desperately trying to get rid of them.
I've read up on some remedies (including some really out there stuff) and a common one is breaking a Vitamin E capsule and rubbing that in the marks. I may give that a shot.
If you know if a good remedy, please let me know!
My Goals
So! What is it that I'm working for? One of the things that worries me about gaining is all the unknowns. Other than the risk of health problems, I can't picture at all what I'll look like bigger. Every man I've seen has filled out differently. Some have big chests, some have flabby chests, some have taught, round bellies, others have low-hanging, rolly aprons.
I know what I want, I just don't know if I'm going to fill out in a way that I want. I really don't how it is people fill out, other than their genetics. Is it a difference between growing up a hefty kid versus gaining weight later in life? Is it eating big meals versus eating all the time? Is it just luck?
At any rate, like I said, I know what I want. For the most part. Not too long ago, I doodled one of my favorite body types. I'd love for the first thing someone thinks when they see me is "damn, he's big!" and not just "damn, he's fat," but I can definately live with the latter, heh.
As far as numbers, 350 pounds seems to be a magic number. Though, I can say that if I'm still relatively healthy, I'd keep going. The only thing stopping me from growing would be health concerns and my job. Being just 20-years-old, career worries are looming, but not an immediate problem. Ideally, I'd love to work from home and not have to worry about such things, but we'll see how things end up.
There's many men out there that inspire me. I'll be making posts dedicated to each of them later. Unidentifiable men, however, I'll simply post a few at a time. If you recognize them, let me know who they are!
Why Gain?
I've been thinking a lot about my becoming a gainer lately. I always wondered why exactly I am attracted to fat and growth. There were several incidents in my childhood that make me think that it might even be genetic.
Aside from an embarrassing tale I may share at a later time, I've always found myself attracted to cartoons that featured an episode where someone was fattened. There was at least one in every series, from old to new. I was drawn to them, even before I knew why. I was too young to find anything sexually appealing about it, but I just loved them. Seeing things grow...
I wish I could find all of my old favorites, but I have a found a few on YouTube. Sadly they are frequently deleted. As I find some of the scenes I remember from growing up, I'll share them with you all here.
But regardless of this, I was a skinny kid. I grew up a pretty picky eater, and my parents gave up on expanding my palette pretty quickly. So, it was usually left up to me to find something to eat for all my meals, but because I was so skinny, I wasn't hungry too often. I ended up eating two meals a day most of the time.
As soon as I reached 140lbs--sometime in middle school, I assume--I was stuck there. Sure, I loved the idea of growing. I was envious of my classmates who were in sports and had their little baseball-sized biceps that all the girls swooned over. Though, in middle school, there are few overweight kids that weren't excessively flabby and unhealthy (something that is a real turnoff).
at age 16 or 17, i still can't believe how skinny my arms were.
Closer to high school graduation I had discovered the deviantART and made many friends online. Among them were a couple gainers. One in particular, closer to my age, inspired me to try and gain weight. I did all a high school student could do--got tons of food when my parents sent me shopping, stopped at fast food joints after school, ate as much as I could... I loved feeling stuffed and bloated, even though it was just a tiny little bulge.
But as happy as that little bulge made me, the next morning it was gone and I was back to 140. I eventually gave up for then, and waited for college. I moved to my dorm (and also met my boyfriend online at this time) and started to go to the gym because it was close and free. After my first year, and the second when my boyfriend moved into the dorms with me, I had gained 40 pounds of pure muscle, and was up to 180lbs. Never to go back to 140 again.
Now, moved into our own apartment with a fully-stocked kitchen, and the newfound knowledge that my boyfriend wants me fat, I've begun gaining along with my working out. I've since gained 25 pounds since moving in in June, and now am up to 205lbs. In my next post, I believe I'll talk some about my goals!
Until then.
Introduction
So, I decided to make a blog specifically for my gaining and gaining-related things. Gaining has been on my mind a lot lately, and I've been wanting to get all my thoughts and progress down.
I'll be separating things with tags. I've have things like my progress, my backstory, pictures, videos and drawings, just to name a few. Keep an eye on this place for frequent updates!
