Why Gain?

I've been thinking a lot about my becoming a gainer lately. I always wondered why exactly I am attracted to fat and growth. There were several incidents in my childhood that make me think that it might even be genetic.

Aside from an embarrassing tale I may share at a later time, I've always found myself attracted to cartoons that featured an episode where someone was fattened. There was at least one in every series, from old to new. I was drawn to them, even before I knew why. I was too young to find anything sexually appealing about it, but I just loved them. Seeing things grow...

I wish I could find all of my old favorites, but I have a found a few on YouTube. Sadly they are frequently deleted. As I find some of the scenes I remember from growing up, I'll share them with you all here.

But regardless of this, I was a skinny kid. I grew up a pretty picky eater, and my parents gave up on expanding my palette pretty quickly. So, it was usually left up to me to find something to eat for all my meals, but because I was so skinny, I wasn't hungry too often. I ended up eating two meals a day most of the time.

As soon as I reached 140lbs--sometime in middle school, I assume--I was stuck there. Sure, I loved the idea of growing. I was envious of my classmates who were in sports and had their little baseball-sized biceps that all the girls swooned over. Though, in middle school, there are few overweight kids that weren't excessively flabby and unhealthy (something that is a real turnoff).

at age 16 or 17, i still can't believe how skinny my arms were.
Closer to high school graduation I had discovered the deviantART and made many friends online. Among them were a couple gainers. One in particular, closer to my age, inspired me to try and gain weight. I did all a high school student could do--got tons of food when my parents sent me shopping, stopped at fast food joints after school, ate as much as I could... I loved feeling stuffed and bloated, even though it was just a tiny little bulge.


But as happy as that little bulge made me, the next morning it was gone and I was back to 140. I eventually gave up for then, and waited for college. I moved to my dorm (and also met my boyfriend online at this time) and started to go to the gym because it was close and free. After my first year, and the second when my boyfriend moved into the dorms with me, I had gained 40 pounds of pure muscle, and was up to 180lbs. Never to go back to 140 again.

before i started gaining

Now, moved into our own apartment with a fully-stocked kitchen, and the newfound knowledge that my boyfriend wants me fat, I've begun gaining along with my working out. I've since gained 25 pounds since moving in in June, and now am up to 205lbs. In my next post, I believe I'll talk some about my goals!

Until then.