So, enough with the doubts. They're better off in the back of my mind. I know what I want and how I'm going to do it, but something keeps coming up. Why do I like fat so much? It's not like it's a rare thing--just look at all of the groups and videos and message boards out there dedicated to the attraction to overweight people.
I almost want to say that it is genetic. Just like with my sexuality, I can't remember a time thinking otherwise. At the same time, there are some events that occurred very early in my childhood that one could link to causing this interest. But, its painfully embarrassing to tell in such a public place, so lets just from a very early age, I loved to stuff my clothes and pretend to be as fat as I could.
But one of the things I remember most about my childhood that I can discuss here are cartoons. Every cartoon series in the early '90s had at least one episode where someone got very fat. The first episode like this I saw was probably the Angry Beavers or Johnny Bravo. I was oddly attracted to these episodes. I would watch series I didn't even like in the hopes that that day would be the day they showed the weight gain episode.
I've found that a lot of my gainer friends feel the same way. But why were some of us kids so attracted to these episodes? What is it about someone getting larger that we like? I'd be interested in hearing what you guys think about that.
At the very least I have something to blame my weight on. It's those damn cartoons, I say. They turned me into a gainer. It's so easy to blame television.
Cartoons
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Check out the cartoons at this link.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.theoinquirer.com/cartoons.html
yeah i noticed alot of those cartoons granted i focused on the muscle ones so when i was small i stuff my cloths to look huge ,heh kid stuff never lose faith man just keep growing
ReplyDeleteYeah, when I was a kid. I'd get an erection from watching wieght can and muscle growth. I was like "WTF?" and get embarresed by it. Though now I don't as I know I'm into my sexuality and know what I am. ^^ I did stuff pillows and that in my clothing to be huge to, so you're not alone doing that. XD
ReplyDeleteAfter talking with so many gainers, I have found (happily) that I was not alone in stuffing my clothes to appear fat/fatter -- I was a fat kid already.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I too would look for that "fat" episode...on TV, in movies and even comic books (it happened to Archie and The Flash to name a couple). But, I think the biggest erection maker was when they would show Willy Wonka on TV and we'd get to Violet's expansion. It worked on me every time, before I even knew what an erection was for!
I don't know what it is about cartoons but I had a similar thing for episodes where characters got fat. I remember the cartoon Duck Tales had an entire episode with a tribe of fat ducks. Fatness was prized and all the fat ducks ate jars of peanut butter to fatten up. Needless to say that inspired me to eat more peanut butter when I was a kid.
ReplyDeleteI have/had a fascination with werewolves as well! I think it all folds in under the header of transformation....and really either fatter or skinnier is all we can really change ourselves without outside means (like, tattoos, piercings, etc.)
ReplyDeletehi... just to let you know you were not alone as a kid. i've always been very skinny (just as you were), but ever since i can remember, i've been attracted to big guys and the idea of fatness. there was a very fat man (probably it was an illness) living down the street here and he became a subject of my private worship. also, i was secretly stuffing my clothes with pillows or even volleyballs when i was younger than 6. later, still in the pre-internet times, pictures of fat people, shown in TV (eg. the simpsons episode when homer turns 300 lbs) or newspapers were a total turn-on for me and i kept collecting them. weird. but that's the way i am. i've never told this to anybody and it's kind of hard to live with it and keep it deep inside. and i'm very respectful of you that you've just let yourself go and don't worry about what your friends, family etc. would say.
ReplyDeletetake care!
greetings from the other side of the ocean.)
I was'nt into the cartoon ones but I remember this 'goosebumps' show vividly! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyrslJqxsqw&feature=related
ReplyDeleteI think pretty much every sexual fetish is meant to emmulate sex itself (funny how having sex you need to think of something that it similar to sex to get off), so with the expansion of the body and the rise in tension and then usually a climax where they pop or button on the jeans flicks off is like the orgasm itself.
You're an incredible artist; I absolutely love your furry and male art! I can't wait to see you keep gaining towards your goal! Please keep heart that there are plenty of people who support and are cheering for you!! Good Luck!
ReplyDeletehi. im 18, 140lbs. you've done amazing things with your body. it's really inspiring to me. if you ever feel like mentoring, and this goes for all the other guys out there too, my yahoo messenger ID is michlkaz. keep up the great work!
ReplyDelete~Mike.
I've written a lot about this before--I became a psychologist and sex researcher precisely to try to figure out why I found a guy gaining to be so erotically charged for me.
ReplyDeleteThere was a researcher named John Money who created the term "Love Maps" to describe one's erotic landscape. We know much more about what goes "wrong" with sexuality, rather than what creates a "healthy" sexuality. In fact, Money's book was entitled "Vandalized Lovemaps."
He found a lot of what used to be called "fetishes" (the current term is Paraphilia) usually have their origin fairly early--before the age of 8.
I suspect during that important developmental time, what a "future" member of "this" community experiences helps influence what sort of path will be taken.
For example--the padding is very commonly reported by many of the gainers I've met, in person, on-line, or via snail mail. One guy talked about his father abandoning the family when the future gainer was around 4 years of age, and the little kid would put on his father's old t-shirts (for the smell of his father--very comforting) and pad himself up so the t-shirt would fit better.
If you've had Psychology 101, there's the concept of "Classical Conditioning." Pavlov's dogs--ring the bell, feed the dog, and after a while, the dog salivates from hearing the bell. Just so (remember, we know more about what "goes wrong") in phobias, we frequently see "one-step learning" (or "classical conditioning"--an older sibling throws a cat at a little brother or sister, and the kid grows up terrified of cats.
The model Money suggested is a kid has an erotic association with an experience, an object, or a behavior that "fuses" this with an erotic response.
For me, this is an excellent explanation of why we see a range of responses in this community--you get actual "gainers," but you can get "encourqagers" who don't want to gain themselves, but want to help others gain--and you get a "Fat Admirer" who appreciates the "finished"product, but doesn't get into the "process" of gaining.
So--You can see an early experience of eroticism associated with padding--or feeling stuffed--might get fused with the idea of getting "bigger." As I wrote one college age gainer--you can sometimes see a little kid with the father out eating, and there's an identification of "I'm like Daddy--Daddy is big--I want to be big, too!" All little kids are excited about the idea of getting "big"--you can see where this, with some kids, can take a more literal direction of "big" and "bigger," particularly when "shaped" by the cartoons.
I want to emphasize from sex research, I'm not talking about sexual abuse in these situations (athough that can exist--I've just never encountered it so far in talking to gainers remembering their childhood). In the U.S., we have a cultural falsehood that children are non-sexual. Actually children are very sexual, but adults do a great deal to deny it or re-interpret their behavior. The difference is that a child realizes something "feels good" but doesn't conceptualize it as "sexual." An adult walking in, seeing two pre-schoolers playing "doctor" or "house," jerks the kids apart and yells at them not to do that.
So--if you have a little kid play-wrestling with a plump neighbor or a chubby cousin, and there's an erotic ("this feels good!") responseu, the chubby playmate may not even be aware the other is experiencing that type of response." There may be a fusing of an erotic response with a partner who "feels fluffy"--a soft, fat partner may be experienced as extremely erotic years later when the individual begins to engage with others in a social/sexual/experimental manner.
Incidently, I've had some adult males talk about how being in the arms of a fat partner gives a very strong "maternal" feeling.
At any rate--you can see where with one, the childhood experience is focused on "identification" and gaining oneself (gaining power--gaining size--gaining attention) where in other cases, the focus is not on "self" but on other.
I've shared this elsewhere--when I was around four, one of my earliest memories was a game I played with my dad--he would be soaking in the bathtub and I would come in--if I pushed one of this nipples, he would push his belly out and it would raise like an island out of the bathwater. If I pushed the other nipple, he would "deflate." As a little kid, this gave me a tremendous sense of power. It doesn't take a lot of psychological insight to see where my being an encourager comes from.
You can also see where other individuals may have a combination of childhood experiences that can give all sorts of spin to this.
I also suspect there's a metaphor of a radio station---right now there are all sorts of stations that are broadcasting around you, but if you're not "tuned-in" to the station, you aren't aware of it. Perhaps there are potential gainers out there who never "tuned into" the "gaining channel"--but the moment that cartoon comes on--whether it's Pigs is Pigs (most often mentioned by "older" gainers, along with the 'Willy Wonka" blueberry girl--the older version, rather than Johnny depp) or for younger guys, the Homer episode(s) or Fat Ducks...the image/concept is suddenly clear and a lot of things "turn on."
I'm a female admirer of people who love to gain.
ReplyDeleteI find it very erotic to see an expanding belly.
I also noticed this during childhood and would get strangely aroused by cartoons
(still do).
but oddly, I have battled with weight gain and never wanted or liked my own belly.
I think that part of the attraction for me was the not caring, or letting go of your self and just feeling satisfied to be big.
My own mum would worry constantly about her weight and was very insecure about her own body image and didn't try to hide it from me. Being fat was a misery to her so i suppose in my mind i created a fantasy where being fat was desirable and this led to sexual feelings.
I've kept this secret since i was about 8, I'm now 32 and finally found that i'm not alone.
Check out this "King of Flan" video:
ReplyDeletehttp://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8489023331248795406&q=%22king+of+flan%22&ei=-xFdSMq9C5_UrQKOuOXZDw
Short link to "King of Flan" video:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.guba.com/watch/3000119098
Check out "Chow Hound":
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-61QQrkD_1A