More Thanks

Wow, I didn't expect such a response to that last post. Thanks you guys, for all your input. It's nice to now that everyone doesn't think I should just blow ahead, full-steam like nothing will go wrong. There were a variety of responses, and I read and took them all in, for sure.

Rest assured that I'm going to try to be realistic about all this. That 400 pound meter over there isn't so much of a goal as it is an upper-bound, so to speak. If I were ever to get near that weight, I don't think I would pass it. But it's hard to quantify what I want, really. I want to feel big, I want people to be aware of me, to need to make way for me when I pass by. It's very hard to explain, and I try to show it in drawings that I do from time to time, but like I keep saying, its very hard for me to picture myself bigger. All I have, really, are videos and pictures of men I consider attractive.

It's nice to dream about looking like those men, but I'm tired of dreaming. And I'm not going to stop out of fear that something might happen, I've given up on too many dreams in my life because of that. And as nice as it would be to achieve that dream easily, I don't think I would appreciate it as much. I don't want to ever forget what how hard I've worked to get there, which is why this blog exists. It's become surprisingly hard to remember my pre-college weight.

So again, thank you all for your support. I'm very lucky to have such a supportive group out there cheering me on. I apologize for being unable to reply to comments on here, but you can always email or IM me if you would like to talk.