drawing as a means of expression

I've been drawing for over five years now. For four of those years, I've used a self-named lion character to express myself in various ways. Since the beginning (which was when I was still single), he's been a means of sexual release. Why draw a lion and not just myself? I'm still not entirely sure. Early in my drawing days, I was coaxed by a friend to create an animal character I thought I could relate to. I chose a lion because I had been told I have feline traits, and my hair at the time resembled a mane.

I keep drawing Pete because I loved to express my life though his. Whatever happened to me, happened to him. I went through puberty, he grew up as well. I started going to the gym, he became muscular. I cut my hair, he cut his. When I started gaining, he became fat, and as my goals become larger, so do his.

Now, Pete is essentially an exaggeration of my own desires--what I would do in a fantasy world. A world with no health concerns, where mobility problems only exist if you want them to, and you have the ability to change your size on a whim. Feeling creative the other day, I wrote up a story about him visiting a distant friend of his who happened to be immobile. He, nearing a similar size, wanted to learn about life at that weight. While working on the story, it hit me: I'm doing the same thing.

I have no real goal in mind. I simply want to grow and see if my urge to get bigger slows or magnifies. Is my weight gaining journey like a race to the finish line, or more like a snowball rolling downhill? I had never seriously thought about the idea of gaining to the point of reduced mobility, but suddenly it has become an object of serious curiosity. It would be a serious, life-changing decision to make, but luckily I won't have to make it for a long while. For now, I will explore the idea through Pete.