I apologize again for the whiny tone of that last post. I was in kind of a worrying state of mind because I had some minor surgery (if you can even call it that) in store a few days after. My two big toes had some pretty serious ingrown nails and infections. I had put off going to the doctor for far too long (almost a year) and was afraid of what was going to come of the procedure.
It wasn't too bad though. I'll spare you the details, but I was off of my feet for all of last week outside of going to class. I don't think I was any lazier than I usually am, but I've gained some weight back that I lost from slacking off over the past few weeks.
I want to thank you guys who commented on that last post. I know I should just go with the flow, but it seems the more I grow, the more and faster I want to grow. It's a pretty greedy mindset, but I can't seem to think otherwise. I almost feel it’s necessary for a gainer or bodybuilder.
When I was little--both in age and in size--I remember being told I was annoyingly modest. I disliked being that way, but I didn't really have the confidence to behave any other way. Nowadays, I still maintain some of those mannerisms out of habit, but the truth is when I get compliments from you guys, I eat it up. I am proud of what I've achieved and I love actually getting attention for it. I'm just a big greedy, prideful, lazy bastard.
It sounds terrible when I write it like that, but it's true. I can't defend myself. I'm purposefully being inactive, putting on weight because I'm attracted to it and subsequently chronicling it on the internet. That's, like, four sins right there. I don't feel bad about it, though. Being happy and proud of my body is much more preferable to being unhappy and annoyingly modest.
I do worry about becoming too prideful, though. I know of a lot of gainers and even more bodybuilders who are just the biggest assholes you'd ever seen. I like to think that I can use my jealousy of bigger men (yet another sin) to keep me in my place. So, as long as I don't become the largest man on the planet, hopefully my personality won't change. If that fails, I hope you guys will give me a good internet smack and put me in my place!
Glutton
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Take no offense to this, because it may sound bitchy butttt--Did you simply not cut your nails because your growing belly got in the way? In both senses. X3
ReplyDeleteHeya. Been a fan of your blog for a while, really. Kinda been shy to comment, though, haha.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm glad your surgery went well, and I don't think you should worry about becoming too prideful like other gainers. From what I can tell from your work and blog, you've earned every right to feel good about yourself. :p
It's not a sin to be honest with yourself about your desires and to have the courage to act upon them when most people don't. You're an inspiration to many of us, in your attitude and your approach to life in general, not to mention your honesty and openness.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for putting you in your place, the only place most of us would like to see you is in front of massive quantities of food, going for it, letting go, and being happy!
Dont worry about being too "prideful". At this point you are who you are, so don't expect major personality shifts as you get bigger. All those jerkoff body builders were that way BEFORE the muscles showed up; it just made it worse!
ReplyDeleteYour modesty will be retained, I guarantee you.
@ Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHaha, it is starting to become a challenge to cut them nowadays.
To be honest, I wouldn't care that much. When you're as gorgeous as you are, you have a right to be somewhat prideful, no?
ReplyDeleteBe prideful and become the biggest man that you can be! We'll be here to tell you that you are loved, admired and worshipped for being so hot AND for being such a sweet guy. So-- stay off your feet, eat without abandon, gain big time and get better soon!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're loved, man!!
-chuckles- Don't worry. There are some of us that'll put you in your place, if you start to become an asshole. Though I doubt you will as you're just to nice and it seems that fat people are nice people in general. Not to mention cuddly. Heh. Just keep up the hard work you;re doing and we'll keep rooting you on. ^^ Also keep on eye on those toe nails, cause they can go back to be ingrown and infected again. Remember cut them straight, not rounded.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your blog. I'm glad you came out of your ingrown toe nail episode OK. That problem is nothing to laugh about, it's really serious.
ReplyDeleteThe advice"VGM" gives you, to cut toe nails straight across is so true; my mother taught me that as a kid.
You write about successful gaining, that when you put on weight "the more and faster I want to grow". I think many of us have that experience. When we get to a point when it is difficult to ingest extra calories, all we have to think about is: 'That feeling will not last forever'. Pretty soon we regain our appetite and are on our way again.
Which leads me to your 260. I trust you'll reach that "interim" plateau pretty soon! Every ounce makes you more handsome.
This is not a negative comment, just experience from life.
ReplyDeleteRenember that one's only live once. I mean there's only one life. Would recommand you blood check sometime, especialy related to sugar, glycemia. Foots issues sometime may be related. Human biology has its realities and limitations that one may push, surely, but to somes limits.