Pants

Thanks once again to you all for your extremely sweet comments on my last post. Thanks to your kind words and my wonderful feeder coming home and resuming the belly attention and stuffing, I've completely forgotten about that problem.

That being said, I had to go out once again and buy new work pants today. For some reasons pants have been on my mind today. A customer came in today with what looked like size 28 pants. I felt a strange sense of pride knowing that my thigh might even be bigger than that. Disappointingly, when I went to the store to buy a pair, I didn't have to move up two sizes like I did last time. But this does mean I've gone up a full TEN pant sizes since I first started my job back in June. In somewhat of a celebration, I went to the same store and bought the same type of pants as my first. The 42s don't feel too much bigger than my last pair, but the 44s I tried on felt enormous! I can't wait to fill those things in a few months.

At any rate, I took some pictures of me trying to fit into those tiny 32s again. Compare them to the pictures in this post.

I also measured my belly. 47 inches around! That sounds a whole lot bigger than it feels. Also, my thighs are 25 inches--almost as big as that guys waist!

Home for the Holidays

One would think that the Christmas and Thanksgiving would be the favorite time for a gainer, and I can see them becoming that way in the future. But for now, I'm stuck going home and spending time with my family. Now, I'm out and everything to them about my sexuality, but I suppose I'm still in the closet about gaining. And it's becoming impossible to hide it.

My sister just calls me "big." She thinks my thighs are huge, and said I look like a football player. My mother, on the other hand, is very passive about it (just as she is about everything she judges about my life), bringing up me "putting on extra weight" and so forth. I know that she disapproves, obviously. My father, while usually quiet about such things, just came up to me and asked how much I was planning on gaining (almost as though he knew what I was doing). He actually has something to say about it because he's a fairly large man and he does not really like it. He told me "its much harder to lose it than it is to gain it." Which is certainly true, but I don't plan on losing it, barring some sort of health side-effect.

I know they mean well, and gaining certainly isn't something a parent would approve of. But it's just another reminder that I'm still young and I've still got people telling me what to do. Being without my feeder hubby, I'm actually a bit discouraged at the moment--the first time since I began. Two days of a negative atmosphere is not helping me make gaining a large part of my life.

I just don't know what I'm going to do as I get bigger. More and more they are going to hound me, even though they have no place to talk about weight. I want to just tell them that this is how I want to look and what makes me happy, but I can't see them understanding. And besides, it's extremely embarrassing to talk about that sort of thing with them.

This has ended up being more of a venting rant than a thought-out blog post. I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm sure that some of you all can relate. Any thoughts on this would really be appreciated.

I really need to get home.

Blogs and Goals

Like I said just a few weeks ago, every time my boyfriend and I are apart, we talk more and more about what we want out of my gaining. We both seem to think that 400lbs would actually be a really good weight for me, if not more! It's very ambitious, I know, but I can't stop thinking about it. Even if I don't reach such a goal, I'll still be huge.

So, in the spirit of this, I made a little chart on the side there to keep things in perspective. I've hardly started and I'm over a third of the way to such a huge goal. I'll keep trying my hardest to get there, and I'll be sure to chronicle everything here, no matter how long it takes.

I'd like to thank you all again for your supportive comments. I know that I'd get a lot of the opposite from anyone else, and it means a lot to know that its not just me and my boyfriend who love gaining and fat guys.

I also added some links to some gaining and fat blogs that I know of. If I missed any that you regular, leave a comment here and I'll add it to the list.

Observations

I lost my feeder and hubby today. He left today to visit his family for Christmas, so I'm on my own for the next eight days. I've got to do my best without him to try and get to 240 before New Years. Sadly I've been stuck at 230ish for a couple of weeks, either because I've been too distracted with finals week or I've hit some sort of plateau like I did at 210. Either way, I'm heading out to the grocery store with my textbook money to get my food.

Since it's also winter break, I'm working more to raise more money. One thing I've noticed is that as much as working part time sucks, it does force me to eat when I get my breaks, so sometimes I end up eating more on days I work than my off days. I could use something like that to remind me to eat what I need to every day.

Anyway, I've also noticed that my work clothes definately make me look pretty tubby too. Probably because I have to tuck my shirt in, and my 40s are actually starting to get pretty tight again. Hopefully by the time I hit 240, I'll have moved up a whole TEN pant sizes!

By the way, my boyfriend says I look bigger in spite of not gaining any poundage. So, I took some pictures to see! Enjoy~

Another Wall

You guys are just so damn nice. I wish I could reply to your wonderful comments (or can I? I can't see a way to...) I'd like to update more, but seems I've hit another plateau here at 230. That or I'm too busy with finals and work and the like to think about eating enough. They are almost over soon, though. Winter break starts on Friday for me, and I definitely need it!

I don't have anything to offer you guys again this time, but I do have a question. I have a lot of people asking for more videos (as well as a timeline--I've got one ready to make, I'm going to wait until 240 to finish it though) but I don't usually know what to do in them. What do you like to see in such YouTube videos? What would you like to see me do? What would you like to see from me in general? I'll try to come through, I feel like I'm slacking on content lately!

Git Bigger!

How's the new layout? I recolored my site, and I figured I'd give this (as well as my YouTube and livejournal) a makeover too. Also, I might have a new title for this place too. I totally I wish I had thought of it, but a friend of mine gave me the idea for the title "git bigger" and I just fell in love with it. I even registered gitbigger.com, just in case I decide to blend my art and gaining personalities down the road.

Everyone on YouTube seems to think that I look better standing up, so I'll make another video like that next time! And speaking of YouTube, someone left a pretty nasty comment on my latest video. It sorta bummed me out to think that some people simply loathe fat people (even though I'm not really that fat yet, relative to some of the others on YouTube) but compared to the other wonderful comments that were left, I guess it doesn't really matter what one 19-year-old angry boy from England thinks about me.

I apologize for the lack of media updates lately, but I've been busy with the closing semester and with my trip up to Chicago to take a test. I must have lost a couple pounds because of all that stress, but now that I'm home I can get back into the swing of things.