I Love Fat

Forgive the ramblings that follow, but man do I love fat guys. Lately I can't help but daydream about it. More than usual. I'm so attracted to most every picture or drawing, or actual fat man I see, but mostly because I want to be the person. I look at a picture like the one below there an think about what it must be like to be that size. How walking feels, how heavy it would be, what it would feel like to rub a belly that size, or sit in a chair with a butt that size. I especially love it when the man is proud of himself. When he looks like he takes care of that wonderful gut he is sporting. Nothing is more attractive to me than a fat guy proud of his fat.

When I was coming back from my trip to Japan, I sat next to a very large man. He was about 60 years old and probably weighed upwards of 450 pounds. He squeezed himself into his tiny little coach seat next to me, his love handles settling on the armrest between us. He was an enormous bear of a man. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes, but at the same time I couldn't keep my eyes from darting to his gut with every motion he made. When food came, he had to rest his tray table at an angle because of the size of his belly, and he downed every bit of that nasty meal. From Honolulu to Chicago, I watched this man and his every motion and by the end of it, I near-idolized him just for being fat.

Some days I think back and wonder if he knew what was going through my mind. He was not ashamed of his size in the slightest. Perhaps he had encountered a lot of men who lusted over his size. Perhaps he was a gainer himself. Perhaps he noticed me watching him and was teasing me, trying to get me to talk to him. I do hope that when I achieve what he achieved that I have encounters like that. Maybe I have already, who knows?

I do like how I look now, and from the response I've gotten on this blog, my YouTube videos and now the flood of compliments coming from my Chubspot page, it is possible I've captured the attention of someone without knowing it. I may not be the size of that man on the airplane, but I've grown into a good start. I love idly hefting my belly in the shower. I love not being able to see my penis when I take a leak. I love how my weight feels when I run, falling and shaking my body shortly after each step. And I love that these things that give me so much pleasure irk most people. It's an interesting thing to feel so naturally attracted to something, but at the same time to know that that attraction is so out of the ordinary.

The only thing I love more than being fat, is getting fatter. Nothing stirs up my libido more than eating a huge meal, rubbing my bloated stomach, thinking about how much heavier I'll become. I love to pad myself when my boyfriend isn't home (though after this, I suppose it's not much of a secret!) and I can never stop myself from stuffing more and more pillows and bedding under my 3XL shirt and boxers. It's almost never enough. I get winded just moving all of that around, but I find it such an odd turn on. And it's been that way for as long as I can remember.

Who knows why I like fat and gaining so much. I write about this a lot, thinking that one day I'll discover the reason. It could be that I looked up to my father and his size, it could be that my first orgasm was linked with padding, it could be a man's innate desire to be bigger and more powerful than his fellow man. Maybe it's all of those reasons.

But nothing is more satisfying and uplifting than being what you are so attracted to. That is why I am doing what I am doing. I am not yet much of a gainer, as I still don't eat nearly as much as I should, but I know that he's in there. I am a pig at heart. A man who would love nothing more than spend the rest of his life devoted to growing and crafting his body into what he considers to be the perfect man.

Next week is Thanksgiving. Not exactly my gaining Christmas, as I don't much care for turkey and stuffing and so forth, but I do loves me some pumpkin pie. I'm going to try and avoid staying at my parents' for too long, lest I start getting more questions about my weight. I'm usually comfortable talking to people about why I've gotten bigger, but you know how parents are.

I do apologize for the immense rambling of this post. But I do hope reading it has shed a little more light on what I'm doing. I am thinking about making an FAQ post and letting everyone ask me questions. Look for that next week, I suppose.