Waists

It's very strange how my perception of my own waist size hasn't changed one bit throughout my entire life. It makes sense, seeing as how rarely I see myself from the side and behind, but the only thing I have to go by is my weight. If I've gained weight, I have to assume maybe I've moved up a pant size.

I've never once picked up a pair of pants and been able to guess the size that fits on the first try. Like most people I tend to underestimate pant sizes, but unlike most people that actually makes me pretty happy. The other day, I go to buy some new shorts. I don't know if you've noticed, but I've basically got one pair that I wear almost constantly. They're perfect for me, though. Soft, light, and most importantly, elastic. They're a lazy man's shorts, basically.

Anyway, I find a more appropriate pair at Target (my favorite place to shop) and decide to try them on. I pick up a pair of 38"s because that's what I usually wear in shorts (pants tend to be a bit tighter, so I get 40"s). Before going to try them on--something I never used to do but now have no choice--I remember what I said above, how I always underestimate the size. So, I swap out for the 40"s. These things look like you could use them as a sail, so I'm thinking maybe they're too big, but I go to try them on anyway.

They don't fit. I almost busted the butt in them when I sat down. I haven't gained hardly anything since the last time I tried on pants and I've had no trouble with my current pair, so I chalked it up to an undersized pair, but that was the largest pair they had. In fact, most of the sizes of clothes at Target stop at 40 inches. Pretty soon I'm going to have to start shopping somewhere else--maybe even a specialty store.

The thing that hit me the most, though, was how wrong I was about the size of that thing. Something I thought was far too big (I mean, you could pitch a tent with these things, man) ended up being too small. That means I have a pretty big butt, but I hadn't noticed one bit! I still only wear Large-size shirts, and yet my waist size is going up and up. Do I really have such a big butt?