I have a tenancy to only talk about the bad things on online journals. It's a habit I've formed from LiveJournal, I suppose. So I guess as a result, people seem to assume things are worse than they are.
I know there are a ton of differing opinions out there, and I know I'm never going to please everybody. But let me just say, I'm not doing this for any of you. Some people think I'm gaining weight to get attention, and while I must say that all of your encouragement is certainly an ego boost, I'm only doing this for me.
I could've worked to try and love my body the way it was, but that's not what I really want. I'll never truly like my body unless I am what I consider attractive. I don't know why I love big guys so much, but I always have and that's pretty much that.
I would not change a thing about what I've been doing the past year. I love what I've become, and I will love even more what I will be in the future. My body is and will be a living example of my hard work and dedication to eating and lifting big. If you can work your way to change something about yourself, why wouldn't you?
I do read and take in all of your comments, but I've seen absolutely no reason to stop now.
Reassurance
Lactose Intolerance
It appears that I'm becoming/have become lactose intolerant. It's actually a bit devastating, as I love milk with a big chunk of my being. I've drank it for as long as I can remember, and can go through a gallon a day if I'm looking to gain.
Lately, when I drink milk, I often get very gassy. Not every time, strangely, but it's becoming more frequent. I'm taking some medicine to aid me, because I can't really live without my milk. Especially with all of the calories, fats and protein I can easily get from it. I wonder how this happened, and if its fixable.
Looks like I need to go see a doctor.
Different Strokes
One thing I've noticed since I started posting here is the wide variety of opinions and experiences from you guys. I honestly did not expect such a wide variety of readers, but in hindsight I guess it's to be expected.
I do thank you all for your input, I definitely read every single comment I get here even though I can't reply to them. I know some of you think I look good at my current weight, some of you think I should keep gaining. Some of you are looking for tips and inspiration, some of you want to help me. I appreciate every bit of help and encouragement and advice given, for sure, but it's pretty apparent that everyone is very different from each other. Everyone has their own techniques for gaining and staying healthy based off of their own experiences.
I think the key for me, from what I've learned so far, is to take it a bit slower. The few problems that arose from my weight gain (snoring and being out of shape) quickly recovered after I lost these ten pounds. Perhaps gaining 10 pounds a month is a bit fast for me. Plus, I don't think I want my fat to outshine my muscles, so I think I'll take it a bit easier now.
On the bright side, I actually ended up winning second place in that collegehumor contest, so there's 100 bucks for being a fatso. Also, I've been feeling a bit bigger in the muscle department. We'll see how eating big combined with working out harder and my new supplements work out for me this summer.
On a side note as well, while I do appreciate the (oddly) passionate opinions about my taking supplements, lets try to keep the bickering to a minimum, shall we?
Bulking Down
So I've gotten back into my old mindset of wanting to grow my muscles as fast as possible. I've invested a good chunk of my first paycheck on some new supplements, including multivitamins, testosterone enhancers, estrogen suppressors, and these pseudo-steroid-like pills that are going illegal in a few months. So far they are working very well, I feel I've grown a bit already despite having lost weight.
On the gut side of things, I've dropped about 8 pounds now, but I'm no where near trim. I know that I'm never going to be the low-body-fat gym rat I used to be again, and I'm glad for that. I want to have a big, intimidating powerbuilder-look (such as this morphed fellow). I've started a new exercise routine just for that, especially after reading this article on bodybuilding.com. The guy sure knows how to appeal to guys like me with writing like this:
"SO, what is my advice? If you want to get huge and add muscle - so much that people think you're hardcore juicing - GET FAT! It's all going to come off in the on-season anyhow, so who cares? The time for being lean is then, and this is now - winter. This is the time when people wear baggy clothing and plenty of sweaters. Besides, its not like anyone is going to remark about how fat you are - they will be too scared to comment because of your size. Yes - OH YES - you will instill fear in the hearts of men everywhere!"He suggests to essentially eat like a gainer. Eat a ton, and not just tuna and sweet potatoes and all that, but fattening, complex-carb, sugary junk food too. That's advice I think all gainers could follow.
Beaten to the Punch
So, I don't know if you guys check CollegeHumor, but they're having that Freshman 15 contest. I had actually meant to enter it, but I had actually not gained any fat my actual freshman year. Looks like someone submitted an entry as me, though, seen here. I thought it was kind of funny, but if I/he ends up winning, I'll be pretty pissed. If the guy who submitted them reads this (I'm not sure how else he would find those pictures), let me post the pictures instead.
At any rate, things aren't going too swimmingly here. I'm really not enjoying my new job transfer and I'm contemplating quitting. At the same time, my boyfriend's left town for a week to go see his family, so it's really lonely around the apartment. I've lost about 7 pounds or so, I'll post pictures when I'm feeling better.
Experiment
So, I might have some bad news for some of you guys. I've decided for this summer to experiment with something.
I hear that its easier to gain back lost weight than it is to gain new weight. So instead of trying to gain weight over the summer, I'm going to try and lose some. This is to see if I can still lose weight simply by reverting to my old eating style rather than "dieting." So far I've lost seven pounds in about a week, so that looks to be true.
The plan is to lose my way back to 200 pounds. If I like how I look at that weight, I may keep it. I'll definitely keep gaining, but with less of a focus on belly weight and more on mass. I doubt I'll ever have low body fat again, I would love a nice powerlifter look. But if I miss the belly, I'll gain it back and see how fast I can do so.
So, this is still a gaining blog, for sure. I hope my readers will stick around and watch my progress. I'm not done getting bigger, not by a long shot.
Summer Break
So, the semester is finally over. I'm so burnt out, its hard to find the motivation to do anything. Sadly that includes gaining. I really haven't thought about it much lately. Luckily I haven't lost any weight, but I am generally very happy with how I look right now.
There are times that I really fantasize about being enormous, but generally I feel very attractive. While that's good for my self esteem, it makes me less motivated about getting bigger. That coupled with how difficult it's becoming to gain anything, I'm going to need a lot of motivation to keep it up. Any ideas?
I apologize for the lack of photos lately. I know that's what a lot of you guys come to see, and god knows I enjoy the attention. I'll be sure to snap some sometime soon, here.
That's all, really. Just wanted to update this thing. Seems the community as a whole is pretty slow right now as well.
