Growin' but not Gainin'

Man, I'm really bad at this Sunday thing. I've been really busy with school and life, even though looking at the amount of downtime I have, you wouldn't think that. My parents sure don't.

Anyhow, I'm still hovering around 240 pounds unfortunately. I was hoping to have gained at least five pounds by now. But, fortunately, I seem to be growing regardless. If you notice from my icon to the right there, as well as the pictures from in the past that the biggest my gut has ever been was 47 inches on a full stomach.

Now, my gut is nearly 48 inches around. Over 48.5 sitting down (although its hard to measure myself when the tape keeps falling down my lovehandles). So while I may not be able to brag about my weight as much lately, at least I know something's getting bigger on me.

That measurer, by the way, is such a great invention.

Changing Goals

Gaining is hard work. Growing up in Kentucky and seeing that the vast majority of the people around me are pretty heavy, you'd think that gaining weight would be easy. I guess it comes down to how you're raised. I'm working hard to get over how easy it is for me to just forget to eat. If I'm busy working on something and I hear my stomach growl, I'm so used to just ignoring it. I really need to get over that.

Anyway, this weekend has been really busy. Went to my parents' today to see their new puppy, so I didn't have time to think off a good post. However, yesterday I stumbled upon this video on Chubspot. I can't tell you how quickly I got turned on by this man. He's not particularly attractive, and before I would have been completely repulsed by his gut, but I've never seen a man that big before. A man who is still mobile, doing things I've never seen a man of his size do (like "sex," in one of the other videos). I never thought I'd see a man that large (he's got to be over 600 pounds!) and actually... want to be that big. I really doubt I could ever get that large; there's so many conditions that'd have to be met for it to even be possible, but it has gotten me daydreaming.

I wouldn't mind it at all, I think. So who knows how big I'll end up.

Jealousy

Haha, so I'm not very good at keeping a schedule. But that's what forcing me to update on Sundays is for, I suppose.

Not much happened this week on the gainer front. It was a very busy and stressful week at school, so that's what occupied most of my time. I have been eating well, the online guide has been very helpful. I haven't been gaining as fast as I'd like to, which makes me feel small sometimes. When I get this way, I tend to get jealous very easily. (I also don't take any pictures, sorry!) Like, even though I went to the gym today and thought I looked pretty good in the mirror, shortly after I left I was already back looking at other guys and wishing I had their size.

It happens pretty often when I get this way. Going out to eat the other night, I spotted a guy who I see at the gym from time to time. This guy is short, but massive. The kind of guy that sticks out in a crowd just because he's so different. That's the kind of impact I want to have, so every time I see him I get so envious. I guess it's a bad thing that I get so jealous, but at the same time it's good that I always have something to look up to.

I've thought about doing a regular thing on this blog about some of the men who inspire me to keep growing. Maybe even interview them or something. I don't know, I'll think about it some more this week.

Strategies

I'm officially back to 240 pounds again! I don't know why I'm so different, but man did the weight not come back twice as fast. Perhaps that's just a myth. Perhaps I didn't lose enough for it to apply. Who knows.

I'm taking a weight lifting course with my boyfriend for elective credit at college. We were required to make three goals for the end of the semester, and one of mine was to gain 20 pounds. ("You sure are ambitious," said the teacher) In order to reach my goal of 280 by May, I should naturally have gained half of that by December. I've developed a couple of strategies to help me achieve that goal, and they just might help you other young gainers out there.

One of them is eating fast. My boyfriend had always told me that I ate too slow, and because I get full fast, I wasn't eating as much as I could. Before, I didn't know how to speed myself up, but I figured out a way. By basically shoveling food into my mouth and drinking a little bit of liquid (like when I take pills) I'm able to swallow a large amount in one gulp. Of course, I don't get to really enjoy the food I'm eating, but on days when I'm behind on calories it's very helpful.

The other thing I'm doing is tracking my calories. I had tried this before, and stopped because of it required too much effort, but my boyfriend started his diet and was using TheDailyPlate.com to track his calories, and he told me that you can tell it you want to gain weight instead of lose, so I tried it out. You can also watch what I eat there if that helps you, I don't fill everything out as thoroughly as I should, but I'm getting better! Now that I know the amount of calories I need to eat to gain two pounds a week, so I'm trying to eat that amount each day, and this helps me know when I need to step it up and so forth.

Also, I'm going to try and update this blog every Sunday now. That'll help you guys keep up with me, and make me update more often. And with any luck with system, I should be two pounds heavier with each update!

1000 YouTube Watchers

Man, the other day I noticed that I had nine-hundred-something watchers on YouTube. I had no idea! Knowing full well that soon it would pass into four digits, I wanted to do something special. Things have been so hectic around here that I forgot until tonight when a friend of mine gave me that 1000th one.

I had just finished a big pizza dinner, so I figured why not upload a video? It breaks my youtube-as-a-video-timeline shtick, but its been far too long since I've done one. I've forgotten how motivating it can be; not only the comments I get, but seeing my belly from a different angle. Watching my navel in this video is actually kind of mesmerizing.

Here's the vid, folks! I've been going all out lately when it comes to eating. I'll explain more in my next post. Cheers.

Cruise

Cruises are wonderful. I just returned this morning and I gotta tell you all, if I were surrounded by free food like that all of the time, I'd be immobile in no time. I think I showed myself pretty easily that if the food is available to me, I do eat a lot.

I'm still a little jetlagged, so I'll keep this short. In the four days I was out there, I think I've gained about five pounds. Not bad, although I was hoping for more. I am feeling a bit bigger, especially in the love handles. I took a couple pictures for you guys to judge. Also, if you would like to see some of the pictures from the trip, check out my Flickr set.

Some Updates

Things have been extremely busy lately, but thankfully its getting better. We spend all of Friday moving our stuff to our new apartment. Just the two of us in 90-100 degree weather. It was a very exhausting experience. I probably lost about 5 pounds of just sweat. I don't think I was out of shape though; had we done this in any other season, I would have blasted right through it. Eventually, however, I'm going to have to hire some movers to move our stuff for my fat ass.

Couple things I noticed:

• There's a huge depression in my side of the mattress. I guess that's my fault.
• It's a lot easier to carry boxes when you can rest them on your gut a little.
• Our new place is smaller, but our kitchen is fantastic. Too bad
• we don't have any money for food.

I've been watching the gaining community lately, especially with my recent discovery of chubspot.com. I've found some of my favorite gainers on there, including this guy, whom I've always considered one of the most attractive, biggest men on the internet. He gives me hope that men can look fantastic at over 400 pounds. And he thinks I'm hot, heh. There's also one of my favorites, and his progress photo that's always been inspiring for me.

There's no ego boost quite like hearing that two of your favorite gainers think you're attractive and have great potential. I also got a very nice note from a couple on CollegeHumor of all places. This guy and his wife praised my progress and encouraged me to gain more. He claims the ladies love that extra padding. While that's not of interest to me obviously, it's very interesting to see others' motivation behind gaining weight.

Leaving for the cruise on Thursday. Hopefully I'll return a heavier man.