Hiatus

Goodness it's been a while.

Those two articles really got under my skin, it seems. Not the articles themselves, but rather the attention it granted me. I never intended to become such a media focus, and I suppose it's my fault for doing the first interview in the first place.

At any rate, it's rather killed my motivation. I haven't been tracking my calories for a couple months, but thankfully I haven't fallen behind in progress. Or advanced any, either. I suppose this introspective time has gotten me thinking. I've been fluctuating between 240 and 250 for years now, and perhaps I should take the hint my body is giving me.

Not that this is anything to be depressed about, though. I've been working out like crazy and am in pretty dire need of an actual gym membership. So, I've decided to focus on bodybuilding until my body is ready to continue growing. It's not lot I'm eating less, I'm just focusing less on it.

As a result though, I don't really have much to talk about here. So, I'm going to continue to be quiet on gitbigger.com until the time comes. Until then, you can find me on growingguys, as well as Twitter and Flickr, if you wish to keep up with me.

Once again, thank you everyone for your support over the years. Do not take this as a goodbye, because I will be as active as ever. Don't be a stranger.

Another Article

I came home to a handful of snide comments in my inbox today, and I had no idea why. Turns out, this blog was referenced in yet another newspaper article today. Unlike the last one, I had no idea this one was coming out, so I was curious as hell to find out what it was about.

Turns out, the article was actually just a review of the new TV show Huge with a one-paragraph lead-in referencing my blog. A completely random reference, if you ask me. It only mentioned the topic of my last blog post, as well as a reworded description of me copied from the box to the right there. It was quite lazy, considering that the theme of my blog is completely different from that of that TV show. The show is about an overweight girl who feels like she shouldn't hate her body or something. This blog is more about wanting to change your body.

But I imagine that the author went with my blog because it's really the only one out there these days, despite her claims to the otherwise. I feel like someone really needs to explain what 'gaining' is to the New York Times. We know you are against the fat-acceptance movement, Times, but this is kind of a different thing. The author seems quite lazy overall, though I suppose that's indicative of a dying newspaper industry.

While I do appreciate the opinions expressed on my blog throughout the day today, unfortunately I had to delete them (and disable commenting for a while). I know people who followed that link are compelled to try and talk some sense into me, but forgive me if I don't feel like being patronized. I try to give the impression that I'm not some yokel feasting on sticks of butter, so please don't assume I am.

Update: Another article mentioning me was posted today. Ho jeez. And I don't even give a damn about the fat acceptance movement.

Stepping Up

I've been tracking my calories for almost six months now. As annoying as it was at first to remember to write things down at first, now it's practically a habit now. It's given me a great look at how my body works. At first, I estimated that I burned 2500 calories a day, which I upped to 3000 as I got heavier.

Now, though, I'm working out regularly and working 40 hours a week; I'm burning more calories per day than ever. Thankfully, eating 3000 calories a day is becoming effortless, so I simply need to set my bar higher. I even have money again, now that I have that job. The trouble is, I have less time to eat than I used to.

I'm actively looking for new ways to fit more food into my diet. I wish I knew how some people can just unconsciously consume so much. What I need is a food mentor, of sorts--a reverse diet coach.

Shapes

I finally got around to joining that growingguys website. It's really nice to see all my favorite big guys in one place--very inspiring to say the least. I wanted to thank everyone who greeted me and send messages, it was very flattering.

Unfortunately, working so hard at that damn job has cause me to lose a noticeable amount of weight recently. Since my diet hasn't changed a bit, I suppose that just means I'm burning more calories. I've adjusted my intake goals accordingly, so I've no worries. As far as the work goes, I don't have as many belly sightings as I did at my previous post, but I suppose I don't hate it that much. I've still got hopes for the next year or so, so they haven't crushed my spirit just yet.

On the plus side, though, I've gotten in pretty good shape over the past month. Between the few days of cardio I do a week and all the running about I do at work, I'm rarely winded anymore. On top of that, my muscles are just about to the point where they were when I lost real gym access, and my chest has grown to the point that I can't stop playing with it. If I suck in my gut enough, it almost looks like I'm an off-season gym rat or something. A little:

From time to time, I have a small desire to be a just-muscular guy. Of course, being muscular is more socially acceptable and admirable, and I suppose that's why the urge arises from time to time. I like to flex in the mirror sometimes, and maybe puff out my chest at work to see if anyone notices. Perhaps that's the vain side of me wanting some attention.

I don't much like that side of me, though. It's too focused on what I feel like everyone thinks I should look like. I'd rather go for what I want to look like.

Working

Quite a bit has happened in the past month and I suppose that's why I haven't posted in a while. A few days after the health care bill passed, my parents got notice from their insurance company that, to cut costs, they would be dropping any dependents who were on their family plans who did not still live at home. Since I did not plan on moving back in with my mother and father again, I was forced to find another option for insurance--which meant, basically, I need a job. At the same time, my sister told me that a Starbucks in town needed some help and that she could get me back in with the company.

Sadly, this place was nearly at the bottom of my choices for work. Back when I first started this blog, I had just started there for the first time. I quit because I was giving up food service for what I thought was the last time. I had high hopes because the economy was finally picking back up again, but I needed a job--and insurance--right then and there, so I took the offer. I was holding out for a nice office job because it'd be a perfect way to be lazy and make money, but I suppose you gotta do what you gotta do.

So, it's been a week and I'm starting to get my barista legs back. I got some new, comfortable clothes and am making the best of it. I may have to move around a lot and I don't have much time to eat anymore, but at the end of the night, there's always a lot of free food to take home and I think I look good in the apron. (I got called a 'bearista' by someone and it made me grin.)

So that's where I'm at right now. I was in a sour mood because of this whole situation, so I wasn't in the journal-posting mood, but now that my routine is settling back into place, I can get back to business.

Interviewed

About a month ago, I got an interview request from a Canadian newspaper, in response to that Donna Simpson woman who made some noise talking about how she wants to be the world's fattest woman. I agreed to do the interview, and it was a pretty pleasant experience.

The article got published today. Somewhat late to the party, but still an interesting read. It ended up focusing more on me than gainers as a whole, so it's rather embarrassing for me to read. The author ended up posting a link to this blog, so I suppose I should acknowledge the extra traffic I'm getting today.

I hope I did a good job making gainers seem not entirely crazy, because truth be told, we are a bunch of freaks. Sure, there are some really crazy people among us, but that's true with anything in this vein. I guess I'm used to being a deviant, though. I expect people to not understand because even I don't really understand. Just like the author of that article repeated a few times, I just do what feels natural. Still, with all the other crazy shit people blog about these days, I hope I'm not the craziest you've ever seen.

But fear not, Canadians. I am not a leech on your health care system, for I am just another overweight American. I imagine it's more unusual for Canadians to hear about stupid fat people doing stupid fat people things. We're used to it down here in the States, I suppose. It's what we do.

Sizing Up

I'm making an odd amount of progress lately. In just the past week, I've apparently gained three pounds. And it's noticeable too.

As a result, though, I had no choice but to get some new clothing. Apparently, though, I'm in a size range that designers don't seem to think about much. Looking for shorts the other day, I discovered I'm about a size 42. The trouble is, most regular size shorts only go up to 40, and Big and Tall sizes are no smaller than 44. Fortunately, I only barely squeeze into these 42s that I found, so hopefully I won't be in this awkward size for long.

In addition, I decided I should probably move up to size XL shirts. Vacuuming out my car the other day, I noticed that bending down resulted in some pretty extreme plumber's crack. The other trouble is, most larger-sized shirts are just scaled-up normal sizes, so they end up being really long (like, down to my knees long) or the sleeves are big enough for my legs to fit through. I did discover (and here's a good gainer tip, I suppose) that 'fitted' tshirts work pretty well if you stretch out the belly. So I bought a few of them.

I always knew that outgrowing clothing and searching for stylish bigger clothing would be kind of a pain as I got bigger, but for some reason, I kind of like this side-effect of gaining. Something about how uncommon my body is becoming is kind of nice. Every time I pick up a bigger size, I think "This thing is huge! There's no way I could fit into it." But, lo and behold, the pair of shorts that I thought were big enough to use as a sail end up being too small for me!

Anyway, some people have been asking about a new video. It's been almost a year since my last one, so I thought maybe I could do a "250lbs... again" video or something, but at this rate, maybe I'll just wait until 260. As long as I didn't just jinx myself.