Pants

Thanks once again to you all for your extremely sweet comments on my last post. Thanks to your kind words and my wonderful feeder coming home and resuming the belly attention and stuffing, I've completely forgotten about that problem.

That being said, I had to go out once again and buy new work pants today. For some reasons pants have been on my mind today. A customer came in today with what looked like size 28 pants. I felt a strange sense of pride knowing that my thigh might even be bigger than that. Disappointingly, when I went to the store to buy a pair, I didn't have to move up two sizes like I did last time. But this does mean I've gone up a full TEN pant sizes since I first started my job back in June. In somewhat of a celebration, I went to the same store and bought the same type of pants as my first. The 42s don't feel too much bigger than my last pair, but the 44s I tried on felt enormous! I can't wait to fill those things in a few months.

At any rate, I took some pictures of me trying to fit into those tiny 32s again. Compare them to the pictures in this post.

I also measured my belly. 47 inches around! That sounds a whole lot bigger than it feels. Also, my thighs are 25 inches--almost as big as that guys waist!

Home for the Holidays

One would think that the Christmas and Thanksgiving would be the favorite time for a gainer, and I can see them becoming that way in the future. But for now, I'm stuck going home and spending time with my family. Now, I'm out and everything to them about my sexuality, but I suppose I'm still in the closet about gaining. And it's becoming impossible to hide it.

My sister just calls me "big." She thinks my thighs are huge, and said I look like a football player. My mother, on the other hand, is very passive about it (just as she is about everything she judges about my life), bringing up me "putting on extra weight" and so forth. I know that she disapproves, obviously. My father, while usually quiet about such things, just came up to me and asked how much I was planning on gaining (almost as though he knew what I was doing). He actually has something to say about it because he's a fairly large man and he does not really like it. He told me "its much harder to lose it than it is to gain it." Which is certainly true, but I don't plan on losing it, barring some sort of health side-effect.

I know they mean well, and gaining certainly isn't something a parent would approve of. But it's just another reminder that I'm still young and I've still got people telling me what to do. Being without my feeder hubby, I'm actually a bit discouraged at the moment--the first time since I began. Two days of a negative atmosphere is not helping me make gaining a large part of my life.

I just don't know what I'm going to do as I get bigger. More and more they are going to hound me, even though they have no place to talk about weight. I want to just tell them that this is how I want to look and what makes me happy, but I can't see them understanding. And besides, it's extremely embarrassing to talk about that sort of thing with them.

This has ended up being more of a venting rant than a thought-out blog post. I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm sure that some of you all can relate. Any thoughts on this would really be appreciated.

I really need to get home.

Blogs and Goals

Like I said just a few weeks ago, every time my boyfriend and I are apart, we talk more and more about what we want out of my gaining. We both seem to think that 400lbs would actually be a really good weight for me, if not more! It's very ambitious, I know, but I can't stop thinking about it. Even if I don't reach such a goal, I'll still be huge.

So, in the spirit of this, I made a little chart on the side there to keep things in perspective. I've hardly started and I'm over a third of the way to such a huge goal. I'll keep trying my hardest to get there, and I'll be sure to chronicle everything here, no matter how long it takes.

I'd like to thank you all again for your supportive comments. I know that I'd get a lot of the opposite from anyone else, and it means a lot to know that its not just me and my boyfriend who love gaining and fat guys.

I also added some links to some gaining and fat blogs that I know of. If I missed any that you regular, leave a comment here and I'll add it to the list.

Observations

I lost my feeder and hubby today. He left today to visit his family for Christmas, so I'm on my own for the next eight days. I've got to do my best without him to try and get to 240 before New Years. Sadly I've been stuck at 230ish for a couple of weeks, either because I've been too distracted with finals week or I've hit some sort of plateau like I did at 210. Either way, I'm heading out to the grocery store with my textbook money to get my food.

Since it's also winter break, I'm working more to raise more money. One thing I've noticed is that as much as working part time sucks, it does force me to eat when I get my breaks, so sometimes I end up eating more on days I work than my off days. I could use something like that to remind me to eat what I need to every day.

Anyway, I've also noticed that my work clothes definately make me look pretty tubby too. Probably because I have to tuck my shirt in, and my 40s are actually starting to get pretty tight again. Hopefully by the time I hit 240, I'll have moved up a whole TEN pant sizes!

By the way, my boyfriend says I look bigger in spite of not gaining any poundage. So, I took some pictures to see! Enjoy~

Another Wall

You guys are just so damn nice. I wish I could reply to your wonderful comments (or can I? I can't see a way to...) I'd like to update more, but seems I've hit another plateau here at 230. That or I'm too busy with finals and work and the like to think about eating enough. They are almost over soon, though. Winter break starts on Friday for me, and I definitely need it!

I don't have anything to offer you guys again this time, but I do have a question. I have a lot of people asking for more videos (as well as a timeline--I've got one ready to make, I'm going to wait until 240 to finish it though) but I don't usually know what to do in them. What do you like to see in such YouTube videos? What would you like to see me do? What would you like to see from me in general? I'll try to come through, I feel like I'm slacking on content lately!

Git Bigger!

How's the new layout? I recolored my site, and I figured I'd give this (as well as my YouTube and livejournal) a makeover too. Also, I might have a new title for this place too. I totally I wish I had thought of it, but a friend of mine gave me the idea for the title "git bigger" and I just fell in love with it. I even registered gitbigger.com, just in case I decide to blend my art and gaining personalities down the road.

Everyone on YouTube seems to think that I look better standing up, so I'll make another video like that next time! And speaking of YouTube, someone left a pretty nasty comment on my latest video. It sorta bummed me out to think that some people simply loathe fat people (even though I'm not really that fat yet, relative to some of the others on YouTube) but compared to the other wonderful comments that were left, I guess it doesn't really matter what one 19-year-old angry boy from England thinks about me.

I apologize for the lack of media updates lately, but I've been busy with the closing semester and with my trip up to Chicago to take a test. I must have lost a couple pounds because of all that stress, but now that I'm home I can get back into the swing of things.

230!

So, yesterday or so I officially hit 230lbs! That marks a total of 50 pounds gained since I started gaining weight back in June/July! My belly doesn't look too much bigger since last time, but my butt and thighs definately feel much fatter. The stretchmarks on my lovehandles also tell me that I've grown there, too.

So! Here's another video for you guys. Look for another one in hopefully about a month, where 240 marks a total of 100 lbs gained in muscle and fat since I started college!

Feeder

So, being Thanksgiving and that my boyfriend (I should really just start calling him my husband now, "boyfriend" just isn't enough~) is from Colorado, it sorta goes without saying he isn't here right now. Now, it is very lonely and quiet in the apartment without him, but there is a small benefit to the times that he is away.

We both met on the internet (through my drawings, no less) and now have been living together for about a year and a half now. Sure, we talk all the time and we're almost inseparable (especially when he traps me in bed), but for another year and a half before we moved in, we did almost nothing but talk over AIM. It takes a while for two guys to get used to sharing everything in spoken words rather than text, you see.

So, when he's away, I feel like we reconnect all over again. We share secrets that we've been too shy to say, and make plans we've been thinking about, and just talking in that format again is very nostalgic. Now, I know this post seems all sappy and totally not-gainer related, but I'm slowly finding out that he might be the greatest feeder a guy could ever ask for. I told you all before in a previous post that I found out (while he was away, go figure) that he'd help me gain weight just last summer and now I'm finding out that he actually may want me fat more than I do!

Needless to say I'm on cloud 9 here. He dreams of me at 350 pounds, fantasizes of feeding me, stuffing me, and many many things I probably shouldn't share with you here~ Before I was gaining because I wanted to be bigger--I thought it was attractive, and now I'm gaining for him. And that's insane amounts of motivation, let me tell you. For now, I've gotta eat my ass off to gain three more pounds for him by the time he returns on Sunday. So, I'm off to eat!

p.p.s.: thanks for over 300 subscribers on youtube! look for a new video in, oh, say, three pounds!

My Ass Claims Another

Okay, so despite it being 30-something degrees out, I hate wearing pants, so I wore my usual (read: last remaining fitting) shorts to school. Now, the day before I thought I had heard something tear, but I brushed it off as nothing.

Today, just as I was nearing the end of classes, I noticed... there was a huge hole in the ass of my shorts!

It's less noticeable when I'm standing (also with a backpack on). But even still, I'm so lucky that I started wearing underpants again. Maybe I would have noticed earlier... Still, I had no idea that I was stretching the fabric of those things so much. They were 34s, but they were unusually big--I used to have to wear them with a belt. Even my backup shorts that literally fell off of me before were skin-tight when I put them on.

Oh well, time to go pants shopping once again...~

Routine

So, after that flurry of posts, I'm back into sort of a routine again. I'm about 224 right now and I already feel a bit bigger than in those last photos. This is probably partly in thanks to the gainer shakes I've been drinking. My boyfriend found the recipe on bellybuilders.com, and we tweaked it to my liking.

Here's what we put in them:

• ~2 cups milk
• 1 cup heavy whipping cream
• ~1/2 cup egg nog (seasonal, of course)
• ~2 tbsp chocolate syrup (for taste)
• 1 banana
• ~1 cup ice cream
• 3 scoops protein powder*

All for a whopping 2050 calories, 122g fat, 147 carbs, and 77g protein!

*I'm going through my backstock of protein powder before I reorder more weight gainer. Replacing the protein powder with four scoops, it adds 350 more calories, 81 more carbs and 2 extra grams of protein.

Also, I've noticed I have more, well, let's call it "stamina" when eating. I end up going to Fazoli's a lot, because it's both near my work and my school. When I first started gaining back in June, I remember really forcing myself to hork down one of their submarinos. And needed a bit of a breather after that. The other day, though, I went with some school buddies and got the same thing. it was only after I left that I noticed that I inhaled it and a handful of breadsticks extremely easily.

Only a matter of time before I draw stares at buffets! Heheheh.

Green Shorts

One of the first pictures I took of myself when I started gaining was this one:

When I was going through my old clothes to find something to rip (by the way, I can't even get my 32-size anything on anymore. It hurts to even try to get the button close to fastened, so it's gonna have to wait until my 34s get tighter~), I found those shorts. Wondering how they fit now after just 4 months, I tried them on:

Man, they're skin-tight! Impossible to get them on all the way, too. For a comparison, I shambled this together. I really don't look that much bigger, do I?

I'd love to keep adding to that, but I'm afraid soon I won't be able to get them past my fat thighs. I have old pictures that I can't wait to show you all, but I want to wait until I can rip the clothes I'm wearing in them, fwehehe.

Deja Vu

So, over the past few weeks, my work pants have become extremely tight again. Every time I crouched down in them, I feared that my fat ass would tear right through the butt! And when I went to put them on every morning, I had to struggle to fit in them. Not that I'm too broken up about it, of course. Wonder what makes them feel so small?

Probably that I've got a big butt. Even when I was skinny I still had what my old manager called a ghetto booty. Now that I'm plumping up, it certainly isn't being left out. Now I almost want to try to rip the ass out of my now-old 34s... or at least pop the button off the waistband.

But(t) wait!

That's not all, readers. When I went to go shopping for pants today at Target, I just expected to grab the next size up (38s) and be on my way. But, when I held them up to my waist (aka the man's way of trying on clothes) something seemed off... So, going to try them on I was shocked to find that they too did not fit! Not even close!

Stunned, but with a huge grin on my face, I knew what that meant. I went out and picked up a couple of 40s, and sure enough, both of them were a perfect fit! When I hold them up, they feel so huge and I can't imagine them possibly being the right size, but they fit so well. So, there ya have it. I moved up two waist sizes without knowing it. Rob (my boyfriend) told me I'll soon have to shop at the Big 'n Tall, and considering there're only a few more sizes available at Target, he's right!

T'was a great day for my gaining, indeed.

Story Time

Finally done with the story we've been working on! As most of you probably know, I have a lion character I use for a lot of my drawings, and my boyfriend wrote a great weight gain story featuring him!

It's pretty adult and all that, but it's a great read for you horndogs out there, and I just had to illustrate some scenes! So please, check it out via the link below:

click here!

Two Twenty

I've definately hit 220lbs now~ After a generous free meal from my visiting parents, I was tipping the scale closer to 230. But, on an empty stomach I sit comfortably over 220lbs, so its time for a small update! I would bring pictures but I'm gonna save that for a bit later. I'm also almost done with my illustrations for my boyfriend's story (I'm on a roll, it's glorious).

But! I did not come empty handed. I did make a video while I was still full. Enjoy~

Some Thanks!

I am just blown away! I never really expected this much attention, but I appreciate it so much! You guys have no idea how much encouragement this is, really. To all of you who comment here or on my YouTube videos, I read every one and would totally reply to each of them if I could figure out how. To the 160 (and counting!) of you who have subscribed to my YouTube videos, those of who who check this blog from time to time; to the blogs "The Encourager," "MiamiGlen," "Fat & Gay" and any others for linking to this site; to all of you who have emailed, instant messaged or otherwise left or thought about leaving some encouraging words for me: thank you so much. All this gives me insane amounts of motivation, and I won't let you down!

I'm legally nearing 220 pounds now, and within at most the next week I'll be posting more pictures and making a new video! This will mark 40 pounds I've gained since June, and 80 since October of 2005 when I started working out! I look forward to the day I double my original weight, and someone asks "What happened to the old Pete?" I can just smile and say "I ate him."

Eyes Still Bigger

I've always been a picky eater. Growing up, my parents tried to get me to eat a broad range of food, but I was a stubborn little brat. My father wouldn't let me leave the table until I finished all of my broccoli or brussel sprouts or whatever it was. I remember unintentionally hamming it up and gagging on the stuff until he got frustrated and gave up.

Eventually, they gave up on trying, too. My mum just let me make and eat my own food, because I would never really eat what she made. Like I think I said before, this is also the reason I was so skinny. I only ate about two meals a day, never was forced to clean my plate and I also never really expanded my palette.

Now food has become a really big part of my life as I try to fatten my self up, and this pickiness is becoming frustrating for me and my cook of a boyfriend. I do love most foods that make people fat, though. Cakes, pies, donuts, cereals, breads--anything full of carbs, really. I also drink more milk than I breath air, probably. But beyond that, I'm pretty limited.

I dreamed in the past about gaining, and how I could be able to raid buffets with huge trays of food, ordering massive amounts of food at fast food restaurants and scarfing it all down... It's one of the manliest things to me, and I would love the attention. I have learned to eat a few more things since then (most notably salads and hamburgers), and since I "officially" started gaining, I can definitely eat more in a sitting than I used to, but I do hope that my tastes and capacity continue grow with my waistline.

Distractions

It's been an interesting couple of weeks, over here. A lot of things happened, but this isn't the place to talk about them. Let's just say that things are finally better.

Interestingly enough, the new lotion I got for my stretch marks (the kind branded specifically for pregnant mothers and so forth), I ended up having a reaction to it! So, for about two weeks, I had little bumps everywhere I had applied it (and some places I didn't) and was itching like crazy.

So needless to say I wasn't really thinking about the gaining too much, but I'm gettin' back into it. I didn't lose anything, so I'm still about 215-216, and that's good. I'm also almost done with all my obligations as far as commissions and things go, and me and the boyfriend have a really great weight gaining story in the works, to which I'll be illustrating (à la Warren Davis), so look forward to that! I'll update again in four or five pounds.

It's that time of year again.

The leaves start turning, it occasionally gets chilly, and Krispy Kreme finally gets Pumpkin Spice doughnuts in again! I love these things; every year I look forward to them coming out, but this year feels different... these things will help me grow now! Heheheh. Trouble is, they're so filling I can only eat about 4 or 5 at a time before I'm stuffed.

Also, I've finally broken past 210! For the last couple days my scale has read no less than 214lbs (even as high as 220 one day)! In celebration, of sorts, I went out and bought some cheap tanks from Target. For once I think they actually look good on me!

I can't wait to see what I look like in my 220 video! Oughta get back to them doughnuts~

Scales

I swear the three different scales I use are plotting a conspiracy against me. 210 is really becoming very very hard to get past. And I'm starting to get tired of getting disappointed every other time I weigh myself.

Just this last evening, I weighed myself at 217 pounds. Granted, I was full, but not that full. This morning I wake up, do my business and take a shower, and go to weigh myself only to have the thing say 211!

210ish pounds isn't really something to be ashamed of, I know. I've literally put on half of my original body weight since staring my workout/gaining. But I don't really get it--I've specifically worked to eat more and more since hitting this wall. I've talked to a lot of people about plateaus and how to get past them, but nothing seems to be helping! According to my bodybuilding.com graph, I've been at 211 since late August!

Do these plateaus usually last this long? What could be keeping me from gaining at the very least just one or two pounds this past month? I actually even feel bigger--my 34s are really starting to get tight--my belly, my thighs and chest, and especially my ass feel a little bigger every day.

I'm stumped. Any thoughts?

On a side note, I'm overly flattered at the response to my video on YouTube! 1200+ views? 70 subscribers? Just for my little starter belly? Shucks, you all~ I even made a couple of great friends already! Like I said to a lot of you, I intend to make a video every 10 pounds I gain. That is, IF I EVER GET TO 220!

I brought a video~

Oh, I feel bad. I've been in a slump in many senses of the word. I lack all sorts of motivation to draw anything (though that may soon change) and worse for this blog, I've hit some sort of plateau with my weight!

I've been hovering around 210lbs for the past week or two now. I'm not worried too much, I've been eating more than usual, and I know that one of these days I'll be back on my way up. In the meanwhile though, not much has been going on. I do LOOK bigger, which is strange. My weightlifting might not be helping my weight, but it's helping other numbers. I've added a half-inch to my arms in the past month, which I'm very proud of. (By the by, you can keep track of all my measurements and stuff on my bodyspace page.

But, I don't want to just leave this as another boring "hey, I'm still alive" post, so I brought things to show off. I took some pictures of what I think is a little bigger belly, and I also got up the nerve to post a little video on YouTube. I figured there's not much to look at now, but to show off how tight my clothes are getting and to create a neat timeline, this would be a good idea.

Man, I think my butt's getting bigger too... Here's the video, at any rate!

Busy Busy

I wanted to save my next post for when I had a picture drawn, but I'm in one serious art funk right now. There are tons of ideas floating in my head right now, and as soon as I get my groove back, you can be sure there will be big updates here.

I try to put at least one piece of media into these posts, because I know they're more encouraging to read that way. At least to me, being a very visual person. Unfortunately, I got nothin' for this one. Classes have started up again, and as such I've been really busy. Not too busy to eat and work out, though.

I've definately grown in the past couple weeks. At one point, the scale said 215, but I was stuffed and clothed. But I can tell I've grown--other than by these annoying stretch marks. Walking to and between classes has gotten harder. I run out of breath quicker than I used to. Fortunately, I'm not gasping for air after going up stairs, but I'm definately not in the shape I was 20 pounds ago.

Also, my thighs rub together when I walk now. I've been forced to re-don my boxer-briefs to keep from getting a rash down there. My face, as well as thighs and love handles look most noticeably fatter. I also notice it's a lot easier to do things I've had difficulty doing in the past, such as eating a large pizza or a can of biscuits.

One thing I think I enjoy most about these posts is knowing I'll be able to look back at them in a few years and see how far I've come. These sorts of things seem little now, but being able to document all the little things I notice is so much fun for me. I'll have more for you all next time, promise!

Stretch Marks

Ever since I started gaining, I tried to prevent stretch marks. I read in several places that they can be permanent, and I didn't want to develop them. Every night before bed, I put lotion on my belly and sides and so far I've prevented them.

But, I didn't count on the rest of me growing so fast. Both the tops of my thighs and the sides of my butt are developing marks, as well as some smaller places such as the outsides of my shoulders from working out, and I'm desperately trying to get rid of them.

I've read up on some remedies (including some really out there stuff) and a common one is breaking a Vitamin E capsule and rubbing that in the marks. I may give that a shot.

If you know if a good remedy, please let me know!

My Goals

So! What is it that I'm working for? One of the things that worries me about gaining is all the unknowns. Other than the risk of health problems, I can't picture at all what I'll look like bigger. Every man I've seen has filled out differently. Some have big chests, some have flabby chests, some have taught, round bellies, others have low-hanging, rolly aprons.

I know what I want, I just don't know if I'm going to fill out in a way that I want. I really don't how it is people fill out, other than their genetics. Is it a difference between growing up a hefty kid versus gaining weight later in life? Is it eating big meals versus eating all the time? Is it just luck?

At any rate, like I said, I know what I want. For the most part. Not too long ago, I doodled one of my favorite body types. I'd love for the first thing someone thinks when they see me is "damn, he's big!" and not just "damn, he's fat," but I can definately live with the latter, heh.

As far as numbers, 350 pounds seems to be a magic number. Though, I can say that if I'm still relatively healthy, I'd keep going. The only thing stopping me from growing would be health concerns and my job. Being just 20-years-old, career worries are looming, but not an immediate problem. Ideally, I'd love to work from home and not have to worry about such things, but we'll see how things end up.

There's many men out there that inspire me. I'll be making posts dedicated to each of them later. Unidentifiable men, however, I'll simply post a few at a time. If you recognize them, let me know who they are!

Why Gain?

I've been thinking a lot about my becoming a gainer lately. I always wondered why exactly I am attracted to fat and growth. There were several incidents in my childhood that make me think that it might even be genetic.

Aside from an embarrassing tale I may share at a later time, I've always found myself attracted to cartoons that featured an episode where someone was fattened. There was at least one in every series, from old to new. I was drawn to them, even before I knew why. I was too young to find anything sexually appealing about it, but I just loved them. Seeing things grow...

I wish I could find all of my old favorites, but I have a found a few on YouTube. Sadly they are frequently deleted. As I find some of the scenes I remember from growing up, I'll share them with you all here.

But regardless of this, I was a skinny kid. I grew up a pretty picky eater, and my parents gave up on expanding my palette pretty quickly. So, it was usually left up to me to find something to eat for all my meals, but because I was so skinny, I wasn't hungry too often. I ended up eating two meals a day most of the time.

As soon as I reached 140lbs--sometime in middle school, I assume--I was stuck there. Sure, I loved the idea of growing. I was envious of my classmates who were in sports and had their little baseball-sized biceps that all the girls swooned over. Though, in middle school, there are few overweight kids that weren't excessively flabby and unhealthy (something that is a real turnoff).

at age 16 or 17, i still can't believe how skinny my arms were.
Closer to high school graduation I had discovered the deviantART and made many friends online. Among them were a couple gainers. One in particular, closer to my age, inspired me to try and gain weight. I did all a high school student could do--got tons of food when my parents sent me shopping, stopped at fast food joints after school, ate as much as I could... I loved feeling stuffed and bloated, even though it was just a tiny little bulge.


But as happy as that little bulge made me, the next morning it was gone and I was back to 140. I eventually gave up for then, and waited for college. I moved to my dorm (and also met my boyfriend online at this time) and started to go to the gym because it was close and free. After my first year, and the second when my boyfriend moved into the dorms with me, I had gained 40 pounds of pure muscle, and was up to 180lbs. Never to go back to 140 again.

before i started gaining

Now, moved into our own apartment with a fully-stocked kitchen, and the newfound knowledge that my boyfriend wants me fat, I've begun gaining along with my working out. I've since gained 25 pounds since moving in in June, and now am up to 205lbs. In my next post, I believe I'll talk some about my goals!

Until then.

Introduction

So, I decided to make a blog specifically for my gaining and gaining-related things. Gaining has been on my mind a lot lately, and I've been wanting to get all my thoughts and progress down.

I'll be separating things with tags. I've have things like my progress, my backstory, pictures, videos and drawings, just to name a few. Keep an eye on this place for frequent updates!