This time of year, all of the weight loss and gym membership ads flood television as everyone makes their annual pledge to lose weight. While some people do need to lose weight for their health, most of the resolutions are made because people are just unhappy with their weight.
For once, I'm not one of them. Right now, I'm so unbelievably happy with my body. For whatever reason, I've started gaining again and my confidence is blooming. I love looking down at my belly and swelling with pride at all the work I've put into it. With that pride and confidence, my goal of making 280 by May is looking more and more doable.
I'm hesitant to say I've officially hit 250 pounds, because my damned digital scale always reads 3 pounds lighter than my analog scale, but I'd say just this once it's worth ignoring that one, don't you think? In celebration, I'll finally be making another YouTube video for my timeline for this Sunday's update!
I've also noticed a lot more blogs popping up lately. It's great to see more people going for their goals. Hopefully next year will be a lot more productive for all of us! Thanks for reading and supporting me, and I'll see you next year.
New Year's Resolution
A Wonderful Present
Christmas at my parents' was thankfully pretty uneventful. Once again, the my sister's children took most of the attention away from me. This is good, considering I've actually gotten a bit bigger since the last time I saw them. I can't hide my belly as well anymore, even in the loose shirt I got to do just that (on the right there). I know they want to say something, but so far I've been able to avoid it.
Oh, yeah, you heard right: I gained weight!
I'm looking for all kinds of tricks and techniques to help put on weight faster, now that I've broken past a plateau and (more importantly) have some money to finance it. While I was in Louisville (my hometown) I discovered they opened a Vitamin Shoppe, so I picked up some more weight gain powder, and I've been supplementing my diet with Ensure Plus shakes. They're not very tasty, but a 350 calorie addition every day equals a pound every ten days. If you've got any tips, feel free to share.
Last but not least, don't think I forgot about your Christmas presents. I went shopping around after Christmas, looking for some of your requests. I couldn't find any Santa hats, but I remembered people asking for more tight clothes and an odd amount of requests for tighty-whities, so I combined the two! I took so many pictures, I couldn't narrow it down enough. So forgive the camera-whoring, and I hope you enjoy!
I'll be back on Wednesday for some New Years Resolutions. Happy Holidays!
Happy Holidays
By the skin of my teeth I passed my last exam and with the curve passed the class. This coming semester is my final one before graduation. I'm still trying my damnedest to get to 280 by that point. Hopefully this slow break will help me pack on some pounds.
After all of the stress of this past month, it will be nice to relax. Unfortunately, I have to go back to my parents (and my boyfriend to his...) for Christmas. After my big national test in Chicago and then studying my butt off for my finals, my brain is absolutely fried and all I want to do is be lazy for a while. While I love my family, I don't really spend as much time with them as they want me to. There's the usual family drama that comes with going home that centers typically around my sister. On top of that, the semester ended later than usual, and I have barely enough time to shop for gifts.
Speaking of Christmas, I wanted to do something sort of special for you guys for being so supportive. Unfortunately, with my brain being fried and things are so short-notice now that I couldn't think of anything. But, I'm willing to post something when I get home! So, feel free to suggest something. Photographs, drawings, stories... if there's something you want to see, I'd be glad to oblige.
And if you're feeling generous, my donation button over there is always working! I never get too much for Christmas, so any support or gift you can spare would mean the world to me. Merry Christmas!
Busy Times
This week is finals week at school, so unfortunately I haven't had time to think of a good post for today. I'm desperately trying to get through these tests and move on to my last semester. I am at risk for failing one of my poorly-chosen elective classes, so I'm doing whatever I can to make sure I do well on this last test.
In happier news though, I got a lovely surprise from a very generous reader in the form of my first donation! Money has been pretty tight since I lost my job, and this was a very touching gift. To celebrate (and as per his wishes), we did something we hadn't been able to afford to do in months: went out on a date. It was a very wonderful dinner out, and even more lucky was that we got a very attractive, very kind, very chubby bear for a waiter. The food was even better (surprisingly), and I ate every last bit of it. To give you all an idea of what I can eat in a sitting as of now, I had a steak and half-rack of ribs, cheesy mashed potatoes and onion rings on the side, three glasses of soda and a big piece of peanut butter pie for dessert.
I didn't think much of it at the time because it was all just so good, but I was unbelievably stuffed by the end. My boyfriend (and secretly our waiter... I wish) was rooting for me to finish the last piece of my dessert. I felt absolutely wonderful after that. I was so full, I couldn't see my feet as we walked back to the car. An absolutely wonderful feeling.
I also drew up something that I had been daydreaming about for a while. If you remember from a previous post, my lion character is basically an exaggeration of my own dreams. So you can imagine what he dreams about. I had been thinking about how people used to be fat just to show off their wealth. One thing lead to another, and I was drawing up an entire world like such, where the larger you were, the higher in the social hierarchy you resided. Naturally, the king would be the biggest of the big, representing the wealth of the entire nation. And also naturally, I'd kill to be the king of such a world. A friend and I are working on a story to go with this idea, so keep an eye out!
I always like to toy with the thought of impossibly large shapes. I daydream about weighing upwards of 400 or 500 pounds, so naturally my lion daydreams of things beyond physical possibility. I don't know if you guys are like me, but if there's such a thing as too big for any of you guys, I've probably crossed that line with this drawing.
Gaining Again
Sorry about not posting on Sunday, I was in the spectacularly frigid city of Chicago for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. Despite traveling through two airports, spending the entire day at a college and coffee shops, I was without internet for the entire journey. The day-long trip was generally uneventful, but I'm finding out that I'm starting to outgrow my usual Canadair CRJ200. I can't squeeze my laptop between my gut and the seat in front of m
I'd been stuck at that wonderful-turn-dreadful weight since very early this year, and I couldn't be happier to have broken past it. My weight has been between 244 and 247 this past week or so and I think it's really starting to show. I was going to wait until Sunday to post, but my lovely boyfriend is really getting into the feeder mindset and cooked me up a massive stack of waffles for dinner, and I had to take some pictures of my bloated gut (and show of my new t-shirt. Y'get it?)
I've had such high self-esteem as of late, and I can probably put all the blame on this turn of events. I had almost forgotten how happy gaining weight makes me. I'll save better pictures and more thoughts for Sunday's post. Let's just hope it's a while before I hit the next wall!
A Thanks to You Readers
Lately I’ve just been so floored at the amount of contact I have gotten since starting this blog. When I first posted, I figured it would end up like the majority of blogs out there that get two or three posts and are then forgotten because of lack of attention. I figured because gaining was something everyone is able to do that I wouldn’t get too many readers, but it turns out I seem to be doing something pretty unusual.
I honestly had no idea of the affect my gaining weight would have. If you think about it, I’m doing something pretty selfish. I want to be fat and no one is going to stop me. Because of that, and the fact that being fat really isn’t anything special in today’s society, I expected to get very little support, but boy was I wrong. I have gotten hundreds of messages from people around the world wishing me luck and encouraging me to keep going. And I found that oftentimes it was because I’m doing something that they themselves wish they could do.
To you guys I say go for it! I don’t have the time to talk to everyone who contacts me, but without rambling like I usually do, here’s what I think: You may only have one life to live, don’t spend it wishing or wondering. There are risks and social stigma associated with what I’m doing, but it’s better to die with no regrets, don’t you think? You have to determine for yourself if the risks outweigh the benefits to having the body you want.
I am also glad that people are finding about the gainer community through this blog, and in turn are feeling unashamed or even proud of their size. To all the big guys out there, I hope you appreciate what you have! There is such a growing anti-fat sentiment in this country, it must be discouraging sometimes. I know people who have grown up thinking that they’ll never have an ideal body and sort of resided themselves to being unhappy with how they look. But please know that there are tons of people like me who truly envy what you have, and there are so many men out there, big and small, who find you immensely attractive. Everyone has the ideal body to someone, you just have to look!
And to everyone else, please don’t be shy to voice your comments or opinions! You guys are my biggest motivator, and I love to hear from you. The more support I get, the bigger I shall become.
In the spirit of this, I’m making an FAQ post below, so feel free to ask me any question you may have and I’ll continually update that post with answers.
FAQ
This post shall act as the gitbigger.com list of frequently asked questions! Here you can ask anything that might be on your mind (or you can email or contact me any way you wish), and I shall frequently check and update it, as well as add a link to it in the side navigation. So ask away! No question is too taboo, I guarantee you.
- Why are you gaining weight?
I had been skinny my whole life, but always desired to be bigger. I am gaining weight in addition to working out in order to shape my body into the biggest it can become. I have always loved big men and I want to become what I find attractive in a man. - When did you start and at what weight?
I started gaining weight (as in, started adding fat) in July of 2007. I was 175 pounds, though I consider my true starting weight to be 140, which was how much I weighed entering college and what I was throughout most of high school. - Why do you like fat men so much?
I have been trying to figure this out for a long time. I am beginning to think it is genetic, because for the longest time I have loved watching fat cartoons and padding (as early as the third grade or around age eight). I cannot really explain why I like them so much, but I do love big men of any form. - What is your goal weight?
It's hard to say if I have a 'goal' per se, but currently (and in retrospect this hasn't changed since the start) I am looking at 400 to 450 pounds. Men at that size are amazingly attractive to me. Currently though, this is probably as far as I'd go, but that may change. - Is it hard for you to gain weight?
It is very difficult for me to put on weight. I grew up generally preparing my own meals, and rarely ate more than two small meals a day. I had an amazingly fast metabolism that is just now slowing down. I have to eat a lot in a day which is difficult for me to remember to do, and oftentimes will see no change in my weight for months at a time. Lately I've constantly had the desire to eat, but the physical capacity is not yet there. - Have you experienced any negative health effects?
I have developed minor lactose intolerance, as well as some acid reflux when I sleep on my stomach. The two symptoms are probably related in some way. I do take heartburn medication and lactase supplements to ease this. - What do your friends and family think?
As far as I know, my family is unaware of my true goals. I have told them in the past that I am shooting for the "football linebacker look" (which is true, I just haven't told them that after that I'm aiming for the "ex-football linebacker look"). My parents are naturally concerned as that's what parents do, and my only sister generally compliments me on how I look. I have few local friends, but I get teased every so often. I don't mind, I would like to be the 'fat guy' anyway. - Are you 'out' to your family?
I am, I came out my second year of high school (age 16 or 17). - What size clothes do you wear and how often do you have to get new sizes?
Currently I wear size 42 to 44 pants, and Large size shirts. I started at size 32 pants and Small to Medium size shirts. As you can see, I've gone through a lot of pants but not as many shirts, so I generally wear cheap pants or shorts with elastic waistbands. - Do you still work out?
I do and I don't intend to stop any time soon. I intend to be the fattest gym rat you'll ever see. I have four different days of workouts, and I generally go to the gym three days a week.
Thanksgiving Update
Just thought I would add this into my list of Sunday updates, considering the holiday. As I said before, Thanksgiving isn't as big of a deal as you'd think it would be to me. Not a big fan of the traditional Thanksgiving fare, but this year my mother did a great job cooking. She brined the turkey this year, and boy do I love salty things.
Eating with my family does give me good perspective on my own progress. When I'm here, I think nothing of the quantity I eat, but at home I realized how much more I eat than my family (aka normal people). I went back for seconds and thirds, and was the only one eating for the last twenty minutes or so. That makes me feel like I'm on my way to my dream of drawing stares at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
I wanted to avoid the inevitable discussion about my weight (which I couldn't hide at all), but thankfully this year brought a new puppy and my sister's twins, so I wasn't the topic of discussion anymore. My mother took me shopping and didn't seem surprised that I needed size 44 pants, but I could tell that she wanted to say something the whole time I was there. My sister's husband asked me what it was like not being the baby anymore now that there were babies in my mother's life, and it wasn't until then I realized that I finally wasn't anymore. It's actually kind of nice that I get to grow up in her eyes now.
I Love Fat
Forgive the ramblings that follow, but man do I love fat guys. Lately I can't help but daydream about it. More than usual. I'm so attracted to most every picture or drawing, or actual fat man I see, but mostly because I want to be the person. I look at a picture like the one below there an think about what it must be like to be that size. 
When I was coming back from my trip to Japan, I sat next to a very large man. He was about 60 years old and probably weighed upwards of 450 pounds. He squeezed himself into his tiny little coach seat next to me, his love handles settling on the armrest between us. He was an enormous bear of a man. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes, but at the same time I couldn't keep my eyes from darting to his gut with every motion he made. When food came, he had to rest his tray table at an angle because of the size of his belly, and he downed every bit of that nasty meal. From Honolulu to Chicago, I watched this man and his every motion and by the end of it, I near-idolized him just for being fat.
Some days I think back and wonder if he knew what was going through my mind. He was not ashamed of his size in the slightest. Perhaps he had encountered a lot of men who lusted over his size. Perhaps he was a gainer himself. Perhaps he noticed me watching him and was teasing me, trying to get me to talk to him. I do hope that when I achieve what he achieved that I have encounters like that. Maybe I have already, who knows?
I do like how I look now, and from the response I've gotten on this blog, my YouTube videos and now the flood of compliments coming from my Chubspot page, it is possible I've captured the attention of someone without knowing it. I may not be the size of that man on the airplane, but I've grown into a good start. I love idly hefting my belly in the shower. I love not being able to see my penis when I take a leak. I love how my weight feels when I run, falling and shaking my body shortly after each step. And I love that these things that give me so much pleasure irk most people. It's an interesting thing to feel so naturally attracted to something, but at the same time to know that that attraction is so out of the ordinary.
The only thing I love more than being fat, is getting fatter. Nothing stirs up my libido more than eating a huge meal, rubbing my bloated stomach, thinking about how much heavier I'll become. I love to pad myself when my boyfriend isn't home (though after this, I suppose it's not much of a secret!) and I can never stop myself from stuffing more and more pillows and bedding under my 3XL shirt and boxers. It's almost never enough. I get winded just moving all of that around, but I find it such an odd turn on. And it's been that way for as long as I can remember.
Who knows why I like fat and gaining so much. I write about this a lot, thinking that one day I'll discover the reason. It could be that I looked up to my father and his size, it could be that my first orgasm was linked with padding, it could be a man's innate desire to be bigger and more powerful than his fellow man. Maybe it's all of those reasons.
But nothing is more satisfying and uplifting than being what you are so attracted to. That is why I am doing what I am doing. I am not yet much of a gainer, as I still don't eat nearly as much as I should, but I know that he's in there. I am a pig at heart. A man who would love nothing more than spend the rest of his life devoted to growing and crafting his body into what he considers to be the perfect man.
Next week is Thanksgiving. Not exactly my gaining Christmas, as I don't much care for turkey and stuffing and so forth, but I do loves me some pumpkin pie. I'm going to try and avoid staying at my parents' for too long, lest I start getting more questions about my weight. I'm usually comfortable talking to people about why I've gotten bigger, but you know how parents are.
I do apologize for the immense rambling of this post. But I do hope reading it has shed a little more light on what I'm doing. I am thinking about making an FAQ post and letting everyone ask me questions. Look for that next week, I suppose.
Skinny Clothes
Back before we moved out of our old apartment, I went through all of our clothes to donate to Goodwill. Doing so, I found some of my old clothes from some of the pictures I have of myself. Including the white shirt from some of my old pictures and some shorts I can't find a picture of. Unfortunately I could still fit in the shirt, but the pants were another story. You can check out the photos here.
Speaking of butts, these are just a handful of all the pictures I took. The rest are pretty... adult. I'm hesitant to post them, but if you guys are interested, I'll gladly share them with you!
Sumo
It's pretty easy why gainers have a fascination with sumo wrestling. A career in which its encouraged for you to get as big as possible? How can you go wrong?
Unfortunately, life as a sumo is pretty awful. I had always wondered why I never saw a smiling sumo wrestler, but now its pretty apparent. Life is extremely regimented, and every hour of your day is dedicated to training or working. You have to live in what is essentially a commune, and are prohibited from doing many things like driving a car. But if you make it to the top and rise to the rank of Yokozuna, you can make a comfortable 2.8 million yen a month (just under 25000 usd).
Its a shame the sport is so steeped in tradition, otherwise it would be more appealing to young people. But I suppose it wouldn't be the same without it. That is its undoing, as the sport is becoming less popular in Japan. Mostly because young Japanese are not participating in such an offbeat lifestyle. Most of the top sumo wrestlers are not Japanese these days.
But the idea is still nice. It is for that reason I paint a very different picture of the sport in the world of my lion character. People get on my case for not sticking to reality, but where's the fun in that? Its nice to instead think of life as a sumo as being one where you get paid to simply eat, sleep, train (and occasionally have sex) with a dozen other enormous gainers. A life where can you become famous because of your size instead of looked down upon... That's what fantasy worlds are for, I suppose.
However, I was pleased to discover there is an amateur sumo league in the U.S. based in California. All of the fun of wrestling without the harsh lifestyle? Perhaps so. Unfortunately, their website goes down frequently, but there's a nice article Washington Post article about it here. I think, if we end up moving to California*, I will look into joining. That way, I wouldn't just be a gainer; I'd be an athlete.
(*That is, if Tuesday's election goes as planned. Get out there and vote, people! I don't want to have to move to Canada**!)
(**No offense to Canada though! I love Vancouver, but I love the Bay Area more, y'see~)
Big versus Fat
Lately I've gotten a lot of compliments on my size, but it's not usually what I expect. The other day, a bunch of my coworkers started clamoring over the size of my arms. I was pretty dumbfounded, as I never thought them to be very out of the ordinary. But the handful of girls (as well as my supposedly-straight manager) kept talking about how big I was, asking how much I lifted and such.
I did enjoy the attention, though I was pretty embarrassed. It also made me wonder how long I would be considered "big" by my peers. There is usually a point where a man crosses into the "fat" category (which is generally a negative thing). I would love to remain in the former for as long as I can. A big guy would be, say, a linebacker in football or a powerlifter. A fat guy would be someone who looks doughy, has little to no muscle definition (small arms or something compared to the size of their waist).
Very few men can retain that quality as they grow to extreme proportions. One great example, though, is MassiveOx (or BigBryan). Sadly, he had to essentially remove his presence from the internet, but he's always been one of my gaining idols. Because of the size of his muscles and the firmness of his gut, he's a man of great size that still retains that sense of "bigness." Unfortunuately, his results are probably mostly a result of genetics, but who's to say I don't share similar genes?
I've been thinking about these sorts of things a lot recently. I'm in my last year of college, so I'm taking a handful of electives. This semester, I'm taking a nutrition class and a weight training class with my boyfriend. The nurition class is populated (and taught by) by short, blonde, skinny sorority girls who get very visably disgusted when an overweight person is shown. To say I feel out of place is a bit of an understatement, but I find it very interesting. The weight training class, however, I feel like someone the beginner students look up to.
I'll never have what the general public would consider an ideal body, but knowing that there's people out there who find my size attractive, I don't think I care. Sure, it's important for you to like your own body and of course that's the main reason I'm gaining, but it's also imporant to get encouragement and positive feedback from others. The wonderful feedback I get from folks on the internet assures me that there are people out there in public who are thinking good things about me, even if I don't hear it.
the bears are starting to hibernate
It's starting to get cold here in Kentucky, and everyone's starting to cover up. For whatever reason, people here have seemingly no cold tolerance and start wearing jackets once it falls below 55 degrees. And that includes the bigger guys, too!
This does terrible things for my walks to class. I always get such nice views of men wearing as little as they comfortably can to ease the heat. Now they're all wearing baggy hoodies, and sadly I am not an exception. I had just bought some new shirts that showed off my body really well, and now they're all covered up by the same top.
I was pretty happy when I bought it last year, because when I tried on the large, it was absurdly tight. Very big ego boost. Unfortunately, the extra-large was much bigger, so I end up looking smaller in it. It takes a real big man to still look big in outerwear, and unfortunately I'm not there yet.
But luckily with the winter comes holidays and eating. Here's hoping I can catch up to my goal by the year's end.
drawing as a means of expression
I've been drawing for over five years now. For four of those years, I've used a self-named lion character to express myself in various ways. Since the beginning (which was when I was still single), he's been a means of sexual release. Why draw a lion and not just myself? I'm still not entirely sure. Early in my drawing days, I was coaxed by a friend to create an animal character I thought I could relate to. I chose a lion because I had been told I have feline traits, and my hair at the time resembled a mane.
I keep drawing Pete because I loved to express my life though his. Whatever happened to me, happened to him. I went through puberty, he grew up as well. I started going to the gym, he became muscular. I cut my hair, he cut his. When I started gaining, he became fat, and as my goals become larger, so do his.
Now, Pete is essentially an exaggeration of my own desires--what I would do in a fantasy world. A world with no health concerns, where mobility problems only exist if you want them to, and you have the ability to change your size on a whim. Feeling creative the other day, I wrote up a story about him visiting a distant friend of his who happened to be immobile. He, nearing a similar size, wanted to learn about life at that weight. While working on the story, it hit me: I'm doing the same thing.
I have no real goal in mind. I simply want to grow and see if my urge to get bigger slows or magnifies. Is my weight gaining journey like a race to the finish line, or more like a snowball rolling downhill? I had never seriously thought about the idea of gaining to the point of reduced mobility, but suddenly it has become an object of serious curiosity. It would be a serious, life-changing decision to make, but luckily I won't have to make it for a long while. For now, I will explore the idea through Pete.
Growin' but not Gainin'
Man, I'm really bad at this Sunday thing. I've been really busy with school and life, even though looking at the amount of downtime I have, you wouldn't think that. My parents sure don't.
Anyhow, I'm still hovering around 240 pounds unfortunately. I was hoping to have gained at least five pounds by now. But, fortunately, I seem to be growing regardless. If you notice from my icon to the right there, as well as the pictures from in the past that the biggest my gut has ever been was 47 inches on a full stomach.
Now, my gut is nearly 48 inches around. Over 48.5 sitting down (although its hard to measure myself when the tape keeps falling down my lovehandles). So while I may not be able to brag about my weight as much lately, at least I know something's getting bigger on me.
That measurer, by the way, is such a great invention.
Changing Goals
Gaining is hard work. Growing up in Kentucky and seeing that the vast majority of the people around me are pretty heavy, you'd think that gaining weight would be easy. I guess it comes down to how you're raised. I'm working hard to get over how easy it is for me to just forget to eat. If I'm busy working on something and I hear my stomach growl, I'm so used to just ignoring it. I really need to get over that.
Anyway, this weekend has been really busy. Went to my parents' today to see their new puppy, so I didn't have time to think off a good post. However, yesterday I stumbled upon this video on Chubspot. I can't tell you how quickly I got turned on by this man. He's not particularly attractive, and before I would have been completely repulsed by his gut, but I've never seen a man that big before. A man who is still mobile, doing things I've never seen a man of his size do (like "sex," in one of the other videos). I never thought I'd see a man that large (he's got to be over 600 pounds!) and actually... want to be that big. I really doubt I could ever get that large; there's so many conditions that'd have to be met for it to even be possible, but it has gotten me daydreaming.
I wouldn't mind it at all, I think. So who knows how big I'll end up.
Jealousy
Haha, so I'm not very good at keeping a schedule. But that's what forcing me to update on Sundays is for, I suppose.
Not much happened this week on the gainer front. It was a very busy and stressful week at school, so that's what occupied most of my time. I have been eating well, the online guide has been very helpful. I haven't been gaining as fast as I'd like to, which makes me feel small sometimes. When I get this way, I tend to get jealous very easily. (I also don't take any pictures, sorry!) Like, even though I went to the gym today and thought I looked pretty good in the mirror, shortly after I left I was already back looking at other guys and wishing I had their size.
It happens pretty often when I get this way. Going out to eat the other night, I spotted a guy who I see at the gym from time to time. This guy is short, but massive. The kind of guy that sticks out in a crowd just because he's so different. That's the kind of impact I want to have, so every time I see him I get so envious. I guess it's a bad thing that I get so jealous, but at the same time it's good that I always have something to look up to.
I've thought about doing a regular thing on this blog about some of the men who inspire me to keep growing. Maybe even interview them or something. I don't know, I'll think about it some more this week.
Strategies
I'm officially back to 240 pounds again! I don't know why I'm so different, but man did the weight not come back twice as fast. Perhaps that's just a myth. Perhaps I didn't lose enough for it to apply. Who knows.
I'm taking a weight lifting course with my boyfriend for elective credit at college. We were required to make three goals for the end of the semester, and one of mine was to gain 20 pounds. ("You sure are ambitious," said the teacher) In order to reach my goal of 280 by May, I should naturally have gained half of that by December. I've developed a couple of strategies to help me achieve that goal, and they just might help you other young gainers out there.
One of them is eating fast. My boyfriend had always told me that I ate too slow, and because I get full fast, I wasn't eating as much as I could. Before, I didn't know how to speed myself up, but I figured out a way. By basically shoveling food into my mouth and drinking a little bit of liquid (like when I take pills) I'm able to swallow a large amount in one gulp. Of course, I don't get to really enjoy the food I'm eating, but on days when I'm behind on calories it's very helpful.
The other thing I'm doing is tracking my calories. I had tried this before, and stopped because of it required too much effort, but my boyfriend started his diet and was using TheDailyPlate.com to track his calories, and he told me that you can tell it you want to gain weight instead of lose, so I tried it out. You can also watch what I eat there if that helps you, I don't fill everything out as thoroughly as I should, but I'm getting better! Now that I know the amount of calories I need to eat to gain two pounds a week, so I'm trying to eat that amount each day, and this helps me know when I need to step it up and so forth.
Also, I'm going to try and update this blog every Sunday now. That'll help you guys keep up with me, and make me update more often. And with any luck with system, I should be two pounds heavier with each update!
1000 YouTube Watchers
Man, the other day I noticed that I had nine-hundred-something watchers on YouTube. I had no idea! Knowing full well that soon it would pass into four digits, I wanted to do something special. Things have been so hectic around here that I forgot until tonight when a friend of mine gave me that 1000th one.
I had just finished a big pizza dinner, so I figured why not upload a video? It breaks my youtube-as-a-video-timeline shtick, but its been far too long since I've done one. I've forgotten how motivating it can be; not only the comments I get, but seeing my belly from a different angle. Watching my navel in this video is actually kind of mesmerizing.
Here's the vid, folks! I've been going all out lately when it comes to eating. I'll explain more in my next post. Cheers.
Cruise
Cruises are wonderful. I just returned this morning and I gotta tell you all, if I were surrounded by free food like that all of the time, I'd be immobile in no time. I think I showed myself pretty easily that if the food is available to me, I do eat a lot.
I'm still a little jetlagged, so I'll keep this short. In the four days I was out there, I think I've gained about five pounds. Not bad, although I was hoping for more. I am feeling a bit bigger, especially in the love handles. I took a couple pictures for you guys to judge. Also, if you would like to see some of the pictures from the trip, check out my Flickr set.
Some Updates
Things have been extremely busy lately, but thankfully its getting better. We spend all of Friday moving our stuff to our new apartment. Just the two of us in 90-100 degree weather. It was a very exhausting experience. I probably lost about 5 pounds of just sweat. I don't think I was out of shape though; had we done this in any other season, I would have blasted right through it. Eventually, however, I'm going to have to hire some movers to move our stuff for my fat ass.
Couple things I noticed:
- There's a huge depression in my side of the mattress. I guess that's my fault.
- It's a lot easier to carry boxes when you can rest them on your gut a little.
- Our new place is smaller, but our kitchen is fantastic. Too bad
- we don't have any money for food.
There's no ego boost quite like hearing that two of your favorite gainers think you're attractive and have great potential. I also got a very nice note from a couple on CollegeHumor of all places. This guy and his wife praised my progress and encouraged me to gain more. He claims the ladies love that extra padding. While that's not of interest to me obviously, it's very interesting to see others' motivation behind gaining weight.
Leaving for the cruise on Thursday. Hopefully I'll return a heavier man.
Padding
One of the earliest memories I have, and one that I think may have turned me onto fat men, was padding myself. The first time, I was in third or fourth grade and was playing with a friend. For whatever reason, we were pretending to be fat. When she left, I kept playing. I guess I liked how it felt.
After that day, I went out of my way to do it pretty frequently. The hall's linen closet was right outside my room, and I remember sneaking out and grabbing a bunch of sheets and pillows to stuff into my dad's big clothes. I would try more and more each time, trying to get myself to look like a massively fat man.
The reason I bring this up is, I was farting around with my boyfriend on the sofa and stuck a little throw pillow under my shirt. Something about the feeling of that extra size was extremely nice. Just resting my hand on it, or walking around with it made me feel really good. I took some pictures, and this one in particular makes me pretty hungry. The idea that I'll soon look like this, but with a real gut under that shirt is very motivating.
Black Hole
From my last post, I decided to take a chance and try something new. I've heard many people talk about the supplement Black Hole, which supposedly increases your appetite. Now, naturally I'm skeptical of any product that makes a claim like that, so I tried to approach it with low expectations. I totally failed in that regard, but thankfully I wasn't disappointed.
I've only been using it for a couple of days, but I can see the effects. The product works by tricking your brain into thinking you haven't consumed enough calories yet, letting you eat past the limit you would usually reach when eating. For example, normally I can down about a half of a large pizza in one sitting, and the other day I made myself eat the entire thing. It wasn't easy, per se, but you could argue that I couldn't force myself to do that normally.
So, I'll continue to use it. I've cleaned my plate in every meal I've had so far, and I've never really felt full. I'm trying to think of big meals I can make myself that I couldn't finish before. Perhaps a box of Krispy Kreme...
Anyway, I know a lot of you are looking for picture updates. I don't have much to show right at the moment, but I'll take some good ones after a really big meal using these pills. These are just some quick snapshots before work. Forgive the wrinkly shirt and the shag'd hair. Right now I weigh just under 230lbs. I certainly don't look trim, so I figure if I'm going to look fat on the cruise, I might as well look really fat. Don't you think?
Forming a Plan
I've pretty much resided myself to gaining again this winter--I want to keep an almost-swimsuit body for the cruise I'm going on next month. Once school starts up again, and we move into our new place (with a much nicer kitchen), I'll give it another go.
Being completely honest, one of the things that made me stop gaining was my boyfriend. Our situation is pretty interesting. When it comes to body types, we both like fat and muscle, but have a slight preference for one over the other. Obviously he prefers muscle over fat, and was missing my slimmer body.
I do miss my bigger body, and I miss the changes I was experiencing. I'll go for another year of gaining and see what comes of it. Talking to a lot of you gainers has really swayed me to do it again. I would love for the encouraging to continue, it's unbelievably convincing.
It's you guys who remind me of the body I really want, and to help me to keep looking past my doubts. I know deep down the body I want. I guess that's all there is to it.
I do need to change something about my gaining for this go, though. I was really struggling to put on weight earlier this year. I haven't quite grown out of my pickiness, as my boyfriend can attest to, and on top of that I've probably lost some of my stomach capacity.
So, until I really get back into it, I'll be thinking of new things to try. I'm sure some of you guys out there have some secrets to share.
Confliction
Just like I have moods when I'm drawing, I have different moods when it comes to thinking about my body. Right now, probably because I've lost a bit of weight, I miss being fatter. Looking at my pictures on here, and all the compliments I get on them makes me just want to gain it all back and more right now.
But its a conflicting thing. When I was fatter, I would look in the mirror sometimes and think that I would look better with just muscle. And now I look in the mirror and I miss my little gut. I guess I'm one of those grass-is-always-greener guys.
At the gym, though, I always feel good. When I was fatter, I felt different. In a good way, mind you. Everyone else was pretty toned, but I looked nice and bulky. I miss that too. I want to be unique, but as everyone knows, America is a very fat nation. Outside the gym, I feel that being fat just makes me another normal guy, even though I know there are guys like me out there that love that.
I care a lot about what people think of me. Right now, I look pretty buff, and I like to think that people notice that. Naturally, muscle attracts more people than big guts, and as a result I sometimes think that my self esteem would be better off if I was a meathead.
Other times I think, "Fuck it, I want to be huge." Like, forget about everything else and just get as big as I can. All the comments I get on here and YouTube and various other places make me feel really good about myself when I'm fat, and the comments I get from the real world out here make me feel good when I'm just buff. I have my pros and cons with both types, its hard to decide what I like more.
Reassurance
I have a tenancy to only talk about the bad things on online journals. It's a habit I've formed from LiveJournal, I suppose. So I guess as a result, people seem to assume things are worse than they are.
I know there are a ton of differing opinions out there, and I know I'm never going to please everybody. But let me just say, I'm not doing this for any of you. Some people think I'm gaining weight to get attention, and while I must say that all of your encouragement is certainly an ego boost, I'm only doing this for me.
I could've worked to try and love my body the way it was, but that's not what I really want. I'll never truly like my body unless I am what I consider attractive. I don't know why I love big guys so much, but I always have and that's pretty much that.
I would not change a thing about what I've been doing the past year. I love what I've become, and I will love even more what I will be in the future. My body is and will be a living example of my hard work and dedication to eating and lifting big. If you can work your way to change something about yourself, why wouldn't you?
I do read and take in all of your comments, but I've seen absolutely no reason to stop now.
Lactose Intolerance
It appears that I'm becoming/have become lactose intolerant. It's actually a bit devastating, as I love milk with a big chunk of my being. I've drank it for as long as I can remember, and can go through a gallon a day if I'm looking to gain.
Lately, when I drink milk, I often get very gassy. Not every time, strangely, but it's becoming more frequent. I'm taking some medicine to aid me, because I can't really live without my milk. Especially with all of the calories, fats and protein I can easily get from it. I wonder how this happened, and if its fixable.
Looks like I need to go see a doctor.
Different Strokes
One thing I've noticed since I started posting here is the wide variety of opinions and experiences from you guys. I honestly did not expect such a wide variety of readers, but in hindsight I guess it's to be expected.
I do thank you all for your input, I definitely read every single comment I get here even though I can't reply to them. I know some of you think I look good at my current weight, some of you think I should keep gaining. Some of you are looking for tips and inspiration, some of you want to help me. I appreciate every bit of help and encouragement and advice given, for sure, but it's pretty apparent that everyone is very different from each other. Everyone has their own techniques for gaining and staying healthy based off of their own experiences.
I think the key for me, from what I've learned so far, is to take it a bit slower. The few problems that arose from my weight gain (snoring and being out of shape) quickly recovered after I lost these ten pounds. Perhaps gaining 10 pounds a month is a bit fast for me. Plus, I don't think I want my fat to outshine my muscles, so I think I'll take it a bit easier now.
On the bright side, I actually ended up winning second place in that collegehumor contest, so there's 100 bucks for being a fatso. Also, I've been feeling a bit bigger in the muscle department. We'll see how eating big combined with working out harder and my new supplements work out for me this summer.
On a side note as well, while I do appreciate the (oddly) passionate opinions about my taking supplements, lets try to keep the bickering to a minimum, shall we?
Bulking Down
So I've gotten back into my old mindset of wanting to grow my muscles as fast as possible. I've invested a good chunk of my first paycheck on some new supplements, including multivitamins, testosterone enhancers, estrogen suppressors, and these pseudo-steroid-like pills that are going illegal in a few months. So far they are working very well, I feel I've grown a bit already despite having lost weight.
On the gut side of things, I've dropped about 8 pounds now, but I'm no where near trim. I know that I'm never going to be the low-body-fat gym rat I used to be again, and I'm glad for that. I want to have a big, intimidating powerbuilder-look (such as this morphed fellow). I've started a new exercise routine just for that, especially after reading this article on bodybuilding.com. The guy sure knows how to appeal to guys like me with writing like this:
"SO, what is my advice? If you want to get huge and add muscle - so much that people think you're hardcore juicing - GET FAT! It's all going to come off in the on-season anyhow, so who cares? The time for being lean is then, and this is now - winter. This is the time when people wear baggy clothing and plenty of sweaters. Besides, its not like anyone is going to remark about how fat you are - they will be too scared to comment because of your size. Yes - OH YES - you will instill fear in the hearts of men everywhere!"He suggests to essentially eat like a gainer. Eat a ton, and not just tuna and sweet potatoes and all that, but fattening, complex-carb, sugary junk food too. That's advice I think all gainers could follow.
Beaten to the Punch
So, I don't know if you guys check CollegeHumor, but they're having that Freshman 15 contest. I had actually meant to enter it, but I had actually not gained any fat my actual freshman year. Looks like someone submitted an entry as me, though, seen here. I thought it was kind of funny, but if I/he ends up winning, I'll be pretty pissed. If the guy who submitted them reads this (I'm not sure how else he would find those pictures), let me post the pictures instead.
At any rate, things aren't going too swimmingly here. I'm really not enjoying my new job transfer and I'm contemplating quitting. At the same time, my boyfriend's left town for a week to go see his family, so it's really lonely around the apartment. I've lost about 7 pounds or so, I'll post pictures when I'm feeling better.
Experiment
So, I might have some bad news for some of you guys. I've decided for this summer to experiment with something.
I hear that its easier to gain back lost weight than it is to gain new weight. So instead of trying to gain weight over the summer, I'm going to try and lose some. This is to see if I can still lose weight simply by reverting to my old eating style rather than "dieting." So far I've lost seven pounds in about a week, so that looks to be true.
The plan is to lose my way back to 200 pounds. If I like how I look at that weight, I may keep it. I'll definitely keep gaining, but with less of a focus on belly weight and more on mass. I doubt I'll ever have low body fat again, I would love a nice powerlifter look. But if I miss the belly, I'll gain it back and see how fast I can do so.
So, this is still a gaining blog, for sure. I hope my readers will stick around and watch my progress. I'm not done getting bigger, not by a long shot.
Summer Break
So, the semester is finally over. I'm so burnt out, its hard to find the motivation to do anything. Sadly that includes gaining. I really haven't thought about it much lately. Luckily I haven't lost any weight, but I am generally very happy with how I look right now.
There are times that I really fantasize about being enormous, but generally I feel very attractive. While that's good for my self esteem, it makes me less motivated about getting bigger. That coupled with how difficult it's becoming to gain anything, I'm going to need a lot of motivation to keep it up. Any ideas?
I apologize for the lack of photos lately. I know that's what a lot of you guys come to see, and god knows I enjoy the attention. I'll be sure to snap some sometime soon, here.
That's all, really. Just wanted to update this thing. Seems the community as a whole is pretty slow right now as well.
Top Pot belly
Amidst all the changes that my job at Starbucks is experiencing, I learned Sunday that we're going to sell Top Pot doughnuts now. Even better is that my manager, in a not-so-stunning act of completely uneconomical thinking, decided to put out probably more doughnuts than we have customers in a day. And consider the things "expire" after a day, we have a lot left over. Needless to say I had a lot to take home after work Sunday. I can imagine that adding a doughnut or two to my daily routine this summer will have great results.
I'm going to try and work extra hard over this summer, both in making money and in making my waistline expand. The two sort of go hand-in-hand. More money for food is always good.
I also had a really great dream last night that I was in some sort of eating competition and had to down as many pizzas as I could. I just sort of went to town of them; folding up pieces, stuffing them in my face and swallowing pretty violently. If only I could have the capacity to down 5 or 6 larges in actuality. At any rate, I woke up very happy--and hungry--, as you can imagine.
On a technical note, I decided to put a domain name I registered to go use for this blog. So now, this is officially gitbigger.com!
Edit: After a nice dinner, he's a quick picture of that pot belly. I'm starting to see a fat guy in me, for sure.
More Observations
You guys continue to blow me away with your extremely intelligent responses here. I'm honestly very impressed and enlightened. This post, however, is just sort of a thought dump.
One thing I've noticed lately is that I get hungry much faster than I used to. While I'm thrilled about this, the even cooler thing is that the hunger gets pretty intense if I ignore it. This is really getting me out of my childhood habit of only eating when I'm starving. I used to be able to skip a meal or two before I felt like eating. Now, if I do that, I feel like I'm going to pass out. I'm turning in to a real fat guy, I guess.
Spring is here, and all the big guys are starting to take off their coats for the first time. I swear there's so much eye candy around, I just know one day I'm going to get beaten up for looking at all these guys.
I also gave into my childhood desires and got myself a pair of 6XL boxers and a 3XL shirt. These things are enormous--I'd like to meet a man who could fill these up.
I'm really enjoying doing cardio at the gym. Its very nice to sweat, and I feel like I'm in pretty good shape considering my size. I still start to huff and puff when I climb all the stairs in one building on campus, but other than that I feel good. I don't want my gut to really outpace my muscles, so I'll keep track of that more now.
Cartoons
So, enough with the doubts. They're better off in the back of my mind. I know what I want and how I'm going to do it, but something keeps coming up. Why do I like fat so much? It's not like it's a rare thing--just look at all of the groups and videos and message boards out there dedicated to the attraction to overweight people.
I almost want to say that it is genetic. Just like with my sexuality, I can't remember a time thinking otherwise. At the same time, there are some events that occurred very early in my childhood that one could link to causing this interest. But, its painfully embarrassing to tell in such a public place, so lets just from a very early age, I loved to stuff my clothes and pretend to be as fat as I could.
But one of the things I remember most about my childhood that I can discuss here are cartoons. Every cartoon series in the early '90s had at least one episode where someone got very fat. The first episode like this I saw was probably the Angry Beavers or Johnny Bravo. I was oddly attracted to these episodes. I would watch series I didn't even like in the hopes that that day would be the day they showed the weight gain episode.
I've found that a lot of my gainer friends feel the same way. But why were some of us kids so attracted to these episodes? What is it about someone getting larger that we like? I'd be interested in hearing what you guys think about that.
At the very least I have something to blame my weight on. It's those damn cartoons, I say. They turned me into a gainer. It's so easy to blame television.
More Thanks
Wow, I didn't expect such a response to that last post. Thanks you guys, for all your input. It's nice to now that everyone doesn't think I should just blow ahead, full-steam like nothing will go wrong. There were a variety of responses, and I read and took them all in, for sure.
Rest assured that I'm going to try to be realistic about all this. That 400 pound meter over there isn't so much of a goal as it is an upper-bound, so to speak. If I were ever to get near that weight, I don't think I would pass it. But it's hard to quantify what I want, really. I want to feel big, I want people to be aware of me, to need to make way for me when I pass by. It's very hard to explain, and I try to show it in drawings that I do from time to time, but like I keep saying, its very hard for me to picture myself bigger. All I have, really, are videos and pictures of men I consider attractive.
It's nice to dream about looking like those men, but I'm tired of dreaming. And I'm not going to stop out of fear that something might happen, I've given up on too many dreams in my life because of that. And as nice as it would be to achieve that dream easily, I don't think I would appreciate it as much. I don't want to ever forget what how hard I've worked to get there, which is why this blog exists. It's become surprisingly hard to remember my pre-college weight.
So again, thank you all for your support. I'm very lucky to have such a supportive group out there cheering me on. I apologize for being unable to reply to comments on here, but you can always email or IM me if you would like to talk.
Doubts
I'll admit, sometimes I do have second thoughts about all this. It is definitely a big decision to make, and because it takes so much time I have plenty of opportunities to change my mind. There are some little things that make me feel that way every so often. Every so often, the boyfriend misses being bigger than me and my abnormally-low body fat percentage. And sometimes I do too, but not too often.
From the start, I've had two main worries. The first being how my weight would impact my job, which won't be too much of a problem now, I don't think. The second was a much bigger worry, and that of course is health. All the time I see new studies about how being fat will cause some disease, the latest being how belly fat leads to dementia. I'm very paranoid about diabetes or heart problems, even though it doesn't run in my family. Heck, its extremely rare if people in my family don't live past 100.
Gainers don't really talk about health problems too much, I've noticed. This could be because it really isn't that common, or they just deny the risk because its discouraging. Gainers and encouragers I talk to all say "Oh, you work out. You'll be fine." I don't think its enough that I work out. All the talk seems to be that problems arise just being overweight. Still, it could be the case that obesity leads to a lot of problems because obese individuals got that way because of really unhealthy habits.
Either way, its better to be safe than sorry. I've started doing cardio every time I go to the gym to keep my heart healthy, and I'll get the nerve up to go get regular check-ups (I'm worried I already have a problem I don't know about.) And because most of these health problems arise later in life, I won't rule out the possibility of dropping weight as I get older.
It's all still up in the air. I don't even know if I'll like how I'll look when I get very heavy, but everyone seems to think I will. When I was little, everyone said how hard it would be for me to gain weight and that my frame was too small to be a large man. Nowadays everyone seems to think the opposite. Also, someone was nice enough to give me a preview of "the next 50 or so pounds" by morphing one of my latest pictures. Not bad!
100 pound timeline
Using pictures from my workout days as well as pictures I've taken since started gaining, I've put together a timeline of my 100 pound gain with a picture from every 10 pounds. It's like I'm growing in front of your very eyes! Almost.
I apologize for the length!
To be continued!
Photo and Video updates
After a nice pizza and beer dinner, I decided now was a good time to take some pictures and make a video. Enjoy!
My old work shirt from three years ago.
My old workout shirt. Its hard to breathe in these things.
A 240lb Surprise
I guess you guys were right when you said that I'd start gaining again before I knew it. For some reason, in bed this morning I thought about how it would be a welcome change of pace if I woke up and finally weighed 240. Lo and behold, when I stepped on the scale with an empty stomach, its like it read my mind. I used our old scale too, just to make sure and it agreed. (I tried the first one again later and it changed its mind, but we'll ignore that.)
Unfortunately, my poor boyfriend has been really sick lately, so I won't be able to take pictures or make a video until he gets better. Hopefully I don't catch what he has and lose what I've gained in the past weeks. But I've got all sorts of things planned to post here, so keep an eye out. Also, any last-minute suggestions for the video are welcome.
I took some pictures for proof and for my own satisfaction.
The scale that loves to change its mind.
This is actually a more accurate view from my end.
The second opinion.
Hunger
On a few occasions lately, I've come home from school very hungry, and decided to get some fast food. When I get back to the apartment, I woof it all down without much thought. After finishing, I remember thinking, "man, I wish I could be this hungry all of the time..." That must be what it is like for those who say they have a "weight problem." Constantly thinking about food, eating things without much consciousness of it... must be so nice!
So, I've thought about the concept of hunger lately. Rob (my boyfriend) says being full is mostly mental. He thinks that when I can't finish a big plate of food, its because I'm thinking about how much I have left to eat and how daunting it is. The feeling of "fullness" comes from that; your brain telling you that you've had enough, I suppose. I can certainly see the validity in that. My eyes are definitely bigger than my stomach, and the desire to just keep eating is there, even when I feel too full to move. But even if I were able to have large meals, I still don't think about food enough, and I don't know how to change that. Even as I write this, I'm pretty hungry, but I don't feel the need to eat. I still need to force myself to eat.
I need to change that somehow. I would do anything for that state of being--to have almost constant hunger, to always be thinking about food. It's always been an object of fantasy for me, as it was often a theme in cartoons when I was a kid. Characters would just throw food down their throat until it was gone, and naturally end up pounds heavier. It's also a great theme for weight gain stories, such as the one Rob and I worked on together not too long ago.
But what can I do to achieve that? I've heard talk of hypnosis, or subliminal messages. I've also seen products claiming to be appetite enhancers, such as "Black Hole" that I've been curious to try. But being something that very few people desire, I'm sure that there's not much out there to enhance someone's appetite. Perhaps my only option is to grow into that state of mind with time.
I hope that it isn't though. When it comes to my gluttony, I'm very impatient.
Beer
So, my 21st birthday was yesterday. I'm officially able to buy alcohol now, and I'm curious to try beer every so often. Beer seems like a great addition to my gaining diet, being full of carbs and so forth, but I'm hesitant to make it a habit, because of the dangers and how much it costs. I doubt I'll be able to develop a taste for cheap beer, unless there are some you guys recommend.
So, the gaining world is pretty quiet right now, and my blog doesn't seem to be an exception. I feel a bit bigger lately, as I always do, but nothing really worth updating about. I'm still going at it, though. Bellies have been on my mind especially often now, as well. Hopefully I can get to drawing some, soon.
Edit: After a nice dinner, I took a picture for y'all:
Extra Large
So, Rob and I were getting kind of stir-crazy today. It's been snowing in Kentucky and we haven't been going out much. We both skipped class and ended up sleeping in until four in the afternoon. Yes, I know. We're both bums.
So we went out to Target tonight because I'd been wearing the same two shirts for the past month or so. Everything I was wearing was getting uncomfortably small except those two. Long story short, I walked out of there with four shirts and a pair of gym shorts (all for an average of under $5 a piece, thank you), all of them size XL. And they all fit perfectly.
I really must still be growing regardless of not putting on weight. Rob and I think I've gotten much, well, softer lately. And especially in these shirts I look a bit bigger overall. Regardless, I really wish I could gain those last five pounds, finally. If not just for the bragging rights.
Time Crawls
So I'm still stuck, I'd say. I fluctuate from 231 to 235 on a regular basis and its starting to wear on me. I know that if I just keep doing what I'm doing my body will eventually wear out and give up its futile grasp on my skinniness and finally let me bloat up to 240 and beyond, but man it's stubborn.
It's probably due in part to my stressful schedule this semester. Some days I wake up and commit myself to eating as much as I can, making sure I drink a shake and everything, but other days I'll be so busy that I barely have time for two meals. I'm trying not to let the scale get to me. I usually only weight myself when I feel bigger, but most of the time I step on it to see that I've lost weight.
Some of my old friends and roommates have noticed I've put on a little gut. They seem perplexed as to why I say I don't mind. I like that. On the other hand, when I see some of my friends from high school on campus they don't even stop and recognize me. I guess putting on almost 100 pounds changes your appearance a little.
I'm sorry that this is just another "stay tuned" post, everyone. I'm thankful that you are all so supportive of my efforts. The occasional email and YouTube comment and so forth really makes my day (and makes me want to make another video, damnit!)
Other Progress
While I'm stuck at the odd weight of 234, I don't want to let this blog join the seemingly millions of dusty unused Blogspot blogs out there. I don't know if you guys care about this, but going back to the gym was a great boost for me. I'm getting absurdly strong with all this protein and calorie intake, and I think I'm growing pretty fast underneath this fat as well. I even did decline situps yesterday and ended up doing almost as much as I could before I put on an extra sixty pounds.
But the reason I'm posting about this is because of how big my arms feel. I remember when I was a kid and I first started thinking about getting bigger. I went down to my father's tool bench and got his tape measurer. Twelve inches, my biceps were at the time. At first it didn't seem too far from "I have 18-inch biceps" big, but it definately became clear that I was really small. And I mean really small.
You could have broken them like a twig.
A New Year
Busy times, lately. Forgive the lack of updates, I haven't been gaining too much. While I feel bigger (again), I'm oddly stuck at 234. My thighs and lovehandles feel much thicker, it's lovely. But I am done with working now, and school is starting back up so hopefully I will have more time to eat.
Also, the gym is open again and I have a recharged desire to go. I feel more pumped nowadays, and that feeling is awesome. I'm also taking steps to keep my heart healthy, so in addition to the few ab exercises I already do, I'm doing some cardio again. Not too much, of course, but enough to get my heart a workout.
I had a bit of a drama-fest with my parents over my gaining as well. My father is overweight himself and he's developed knee problems because of it, so he's worried about my health. But, to make a long story short, everything is alright. I guess I'm sort of "out" to my parents about it now, which is a small load off of my back.
In case you don't read my LiveJournal, I've made the resolution to get to 275 by the end of next year. Here's to achieving that goal!
